


And Life Makes Love Look Hard

by cerie



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Original Character - Freeform, single mother, single parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerie/pseuds/cerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She’d never planned to have children. Maybe once, when she was a little girl, she might have dreamed of being married and having children but working in round the clock journalism doesn’t leave a lot of time for relationships or families outside it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where MacKenzie and Brian had a child together before Will was in the picture.

Most things in MacKenzie’s life have happened by accident. She’d only ever gotten interested in the news because her father, an ambassador, was in the news constantly. She’s always followed politics because she lives it. When she was at Cambridge, she’d got tapped to join the debate society because she happened to argue with a professor in front of one of the members and they liked her style. She met Brian at a party and it was only because they’d accidentally mixed up their phones had she ended up dating him. 

Charlotte had most definitely been an accident. 

She’d never planned to have children. Maybe once, when she was a little girl, she might have dreamed of being married and having children but working in round the clock journalism doesn’t leave a lot of time for relationships or families outside it. She and Brian were on again and off again and it’d been during one of the on again phases that they’d conceived their daughter. She isn’t the best at being a mother. She’s actually shit at it, if she’s perfectly honest, and she has enough money that she’s always been able to have help in the form of a nanny named Clarissa. MacKenzie is convinced that Charlotte loves Clarissa much, much more than her and she doesn’t blame her.

Clarissa is, after all, the one she sees on a regular basis. 

But Clarissa is sick tonight and MacKenzie isn’t going to make someone care after her toddler when they can barely hold their own head up. She gives Clarissa the night off and brings Charlotte to work with her, unsure of what’s going to happen after she came up with this brilliant plan. Oh. Right. Well. 

“Charlotte? I need you to be very, very good while Mummy is working. Can you do that?” Charlotte sticks her thumb in her mouth and nods and MacKenzie sighs. She shouldn’t be letting her still suck on her thumb, it’ll ruin her teeth, but she can’t tell her no when she’s hardly around to begin with. Even when she is home, she’s distracted, and it’s not like Brian’s much better when he deigns to come by and see her. 

She has about fifteen people wanting her to go in twenty directions and MacKenzie grabs an intern and parks both the intern and Charlotte in her office so she can go run the show. She’s the EP for the legal show at 6 and she mostly can depend on her anchor to carry the show for her. Danny obliges her this afternoon and the show goes well, even if it’s not the coverage she’d like. What she’d really like is to EP News Night at 8 but that would require even more of her time to be devoted to ACN and less to Charlotte; MacKenzie is ashamed to admit she’d rather have the job some days but she feels guilty enough that she’s never really asked about the promotion. 

When she wanders out of the control room at seven, Charlotte’s not in her office. She’s also not in the bullpen or anywhere else that it would make sense for her to be and MacKenzie starts to panic, the fear rising up in her throat and threatening to cut off all her oxygen. As much as she’s not the best at this, she loves her daughter, and losing her in the middle of the goddamn newsroom isn’t something she’d ever expected to do. “Where’s Charlotte? Who has Charlotte? Libbie, have you seen her?” The intern shrugs and MacKenzie wants to shake her. There’s a story stammered out about a yellow alert and ten or fifteen other news related things that still don’t tell her where. Charlotte. is. 

“I’ve got her.” MacKenzie spins around and wishes that the ground would just open up and swallow her whole. It’s Will McAvoy, the anchor for News Night, and someone she needs to impress if she ever wants that promotion. Will carting around her daughter probably isn’t going to help with making MacKenzie look confident and put together but right now she’s just too relieved to come up with some excuse as to why Charlotte ended up in his care. She scoops the girl up in her arms and kisses her lightly in order to give her a few moments to calm down. Jesus fuck that scared her. 

“Liza or whatever her name is needed to get something off the wire so I took her into my office. I let her color all over some notes I got from my EP earlier, she seemed happy enough. I also gave her some candy.” MacKenzie puts Charlotte back on her feet and kneels down, sighing when she sees chocolate all around her little mouth. She’ll be up for hours now but she can’t really complain, not when Will saved her ass. “Thanks. I’ve got her now, won’t happen again. My nanny’s sick.”

Will waves a hand as if to say it doesn’t matter and leans down a little, waving goodbye to Charlotte. “Night, kid. I’ve got to go be on tv now.”

“Bye, Billy,” Charlotte says, giggling a bit, and MacKenzie wants to die. Her child has just called star anchor Will McAvoy by the most infantile nickname she could have ever come up with. Will doesn’t say anything, just turns on his heel to leaves to get ready for his show.

MacKenzie leads her daughter out by the hand and heads home, hoping this particular brand of mortification will never happen again.

***

“So, was that okay? Coming to work with Mummy?” Charlotte is a little animated this evening and MacKenzie is pretty sure that’s got to do with all the chocolate Will gave her. It’s going to be hell getting her into bed tonight but it’ll be all right. It’s been a long time since she’s had the chance to give her daughter a bath and there’s something sort of sweet about the way Charlotte plays in the water and fluffs up the bubbles. MacKenzie takes a washcloth and wipes her little face, getting rid of the last of the chocolate.

“Billy let me color,” she says, grinning, “And candy.” MacKenzie shields her eyes with her hand and washes the shampoo from Charlotte’s hair, watching as the shampoo runs off in rivulets off her dark curls. The curls are from Brian, she assumes, since MacKenzie has never been able to make her hair do anything but lie limp and flat but the rest of her daughter is very much MacKenzie herself. She has a little sprinkling of freckles across her nose and brown eyes with long lashes; MacKenzie is convinced that children all have long eyelashes and it’s only the copious use of mascara as teenagers that ruin that. She’s very beautiful, Charlotte, and that just makes MacKenzie feel even more guilty. 

It’s that feeling that leads her to put Charlotte in bed with her instead of going to bed along and she realizes, quickly, why she doesn’t like sharing a bed with her: she kicks. Still, MacKenzie doesn’t kick her out and keeps her close, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair and trying to imagine what life would be like if things were different, if Brian hadn’t left and her child had parents who’d actively wanted her and planned for her to be a part of their lives instead of an afterthought. 

“I love you, Charlotte,” she whispers into the dark, unsure if she’s even awake. “I love you, too,” she whispers back and MacKenzie feels the tiny squeeze of Charlotte’s fingers against hers.

***

She’s half-heartedly researching death penalty appeals when she hears a knock at her door and it startles her enough that she curses lightly before looking up to see who it is. It’s Will McAvoy, of all people, but instead of his suit for the broadcast he’s in a bright blue sweater and trim jeans. Will is put together in a way that most men of MacKenzie’s acquaintance are not and she finds that she likes it. He’s older and a bit suave and not like the rumpled and unshaven men she tends to date. Brian was only one of a long string of ne’er do wells.

“Oh, hi. Did you need something?” She assumes he does, considering she doesn’t have anything to do with his show and Will settles in the chair opposite her desk before answering. He’s so tall. MacKenzie is pretty sure she’s never noticed that before, just like she’s never noticed his long, elegant hands or just how blue his eyes are. 

All news anchors are handsome, it instills confidence. Will McAvoy is fucking gorgeous. 

“Just wanted to see how the kid was doing,” he says and MacKenzie frowns a bit, wondering why on earth Will McAvoy is asking about her daughter. “Oh, well, Charlotte’s fine. She doesn’t seem to be traumatized by the fact that her mother is distracted and overworked so I think she’ll be all right. Clarissa is better and everything is back to normal.” Will nods, taking that in for a moment, then leans forward a bit. 

“I was wondering how you’d feel about changing your schedule a little? You wouldn’t be able to put her to bed at night but you could see her off to school in the morning.” Right now, Charlotte spends her mornings in preschool and will be starting kindergarten in the fall. She’s also started dance this year, though MacKenzie is convinced that little girls doing ballet is more about dressing in cute costumes (she knows, she’s paid for enough of them) than any actual skill. 

“Changing my schedule how, exactly? I’m already at six. There’s nowhere for me to go, really, unless they want to put me at 10 and I’d really...I’d really prefer not to be in that slot if I can possibly help it. If anything, I’d like to go earlier unless they’re thinking about something insane like putting me on News Night.” 

Will smiles at her and realization dawns slowly. Will’s offering her News Night. Will. McAvoy. Is. Offering. Her. News. Night. This is what she’s wanted for her career ever since she came to ACN and now it’s being offered to her on a silver platter. She doesn’t know why Will is offering it but if it’s because of anything other than her body of work, she’s just going to keep her annoyance to herself because this is News Night. She can prove herself here. 

“Oh, God, absolutely. I’d love to be your EP. When can I start? I can start tonight, just let me call Clarissa and…”

Will laughs and shakes his head a little. “Not tonight, next week. My EP is moving to Washington and they asked me who I wanted to replace him. I’ve seen the show at six and it’s damn good. You’re obviously running a tight ship over there and I’d rather have you than to have to interview people from outside.” 

MacKenzie stands and offers her hand to his to shake on the deal. “Well, I am absolutely accepting the new job and I can’t wait to work with you, Will. I really think we can take the show to great places, if you’ll let me. I have a lot of ideas about what I’d like to do and I’m eager to share them with you.”

Will looks a little startled at that. MacKenzie knows his show is mostly about not offending anyone and MacKenzie doesn’t play that game. She wants to inform the electorate and incite riots in the viewers. There’s nothing she wants more than way to really get her message across and News Night gives her that platform much more easily than her legal show at six. “I’m going to push you to be better than you are, Will, and we can discuss how to make that happen. I need to call Clarissa and check in on Charlotte but we can talk about this more later?”

Will nods. “We can go to dinner sometime, if you want? I’m free tonight. I don’t know what your childcare situation is but we can make it a quick one after your show and before mine if that’s a problem? Otherwise, we can go at nine after I get out.”

MacKenzie isn’t sure what he’s asking her for. It’s likely just a business dinner, given the context of this conversation, but she wants it to be a date. It’s been a long time since she’s been out with anyone and the last time she had anything remotely resembling a relationship was the last time she slept with Brian - a bad idea all around. 

“Sure, yes, we can go after the show. I’ll call Clarissa and tell her I’ll be late tonight and it should be fine. I’ll give her a night off later this week to compensate.” 

MacKenzie has never been more nervous in her life.


	2. Chapter 2

When nine rolls around, MacKenzie is pacing in her office. She isn’t entirely prepared to go out with Will McAvoy, business dinner or not, and she wishes she’d had the chance to go home and change. She’s smack in the middle of another loop around her carpet when Will comes in, knocking lightly at the door frame to announce his presence. MacKenzie startles a bit and lets out a little cry of shock which is just stupid considering her entire office is made of glass and she should have seen him coming. 

“Are you ready?” He’s already changed into jeans and a blue sweater that looks impossibly soft. Will dresses well, on camera and off, and MacKenzie isn’t entirely sure how to engage with a man who has his shit together. Brian had barely been one step above a frat boy and since he freelanced, spent most of his days in varying degrees of scruff and grunge. This is different. This is someone confident who knows who he is, knows his place in the world and how to engage with it. 

“Um, yes, actually, I am ready. Ready as ever. Completely ready.” Will gives her a bemused look and dials something on his phone. “Yeah, I’m ready. I’m bringing MacKenzie McHale with me, one of the producers...no, just that new bar three streets over. Yeah.” MacKenzie is marginally disappointed he isn’t going to bring her to some celebrity hotspot but she glosses it over. She’s in work clothes and Will’s in jeans; it’s not like she should have expected fine dining at this juncture. It’s a business meeting. 

She and Will end up on the curb outside the AWM building and there’s a big, black SUV waiting for them. Will has a driver/bodyguard and somehow that makes this feel a hell of a lot more glamorous than it is. She slides in the backseat, expecting Will to take the front, but he shocks her by sliding into the seat next to her. He’s impossibly warm and MacKenzie isn’t ashamed to admit to herself that she wants to tuck in close to him and lay her head against his chest. She refrains. 

“Sorry it’s not a better dinner,” he says, giving her an affable, charming smile. “Short notice. I’ll take you out to Il Mulino or Eric Ripert’s new place next time.” Next time. That implies this time will go well and suddenly MacKenzie thinks her hopes this wasn’t just a business dinner have multiplied exponentially. “Oh, it’s fine,” she says, thinking her voice is a bit tinny and high pitched. Christ, she’s so fucking nervous. 

“I’m just an executive producer, whatever you have in mind is fine. I don’t need to go anywhere...right. Okay. Anyway, you wanted to talk about me moving to your show? Have you discussed it with Charlie?” Will nods and doesn’t get a chance to answer before the car stops in front of the restaurant. He hops out and opens MacKenzie’s door for her and she is stunned enough that she just doesn’t say anything. When they get inside, they’re seated at a table and not a booth and he pulls out her chair too. Jesus. 

“Charlie asked me who I wanted and I said you. It’s a done deal. You just need to sign your new contract and you’ll be with me at eight instead of at six. Is it going to be okay with the nanny situation?” MacKenzie is still a little star-struck by Will and hasn’t exactly put enough thought into the logistics of child care. It’s not nearly as sexy as knowing she’ll be producing the headline show of the network. 

“I’ve got one now but I might have to hire another because otherwise she’s never going to be able to go home to see her own family.” MacKenzie may be terrible at child-rearing herself but she recognizes that other people are good at it. Clarissa has two boys and her own husband and it’s unfair to have her caring for Charlotte round the clock, especially when MacKenzie makes enough money to have more than one nanny around if she really needs it. She’d resisted that for a long time mostly on account of wanting to have the reason to spend time with her own daughter and not rely so heavily on other people being her caregiver. But now, with News Night, she isn’t sure how much time she’ll have. 

“Couldn’t imagine what it’d be like, juggling everything you do and a kid on top of it. I just show up and put on the suit and say what they want me to say.” MacKenzie tuts a bit under her breath. “Liar. I happen to know you’re managing editor of your show and you’re a fucking lawyer. I know...well, I googled you and you were a prosecutor with an insane conviction rate. 97% or something stupid like that? You’re hardly a pretty face in front of a teleprompter. You’re brilliant and I’ve been wanting to work on News Night since I first came to ACN. I just can’t believe I’ve actually been asked.”

Will arches a brow and when the waiter comes around, they get distracted by ordering drinks. Will ends up just ordering a bottle of wine, as he says glasses are a waste, and MacKenzie hopes she doesn’t overindulge. That’s the last thing she needs to do to poor Charlotte. “MacKenzie. You have two Peabodys and you went to Cambridge. The fact that they’re wasting you at six just shows that ACN has no idea what to do with talent. I’ve wanted you on my show since you first showed up. I just needed to convince everyone else.” He sips at his wine before continuing.

“Just between you and me, there’s nothing sexier in this world than a woman who knows how to fucking win an argument. I’ve seen you. You’re brilliant. And I didn’t have to google you to figure that out, I learned it the old-fashioned way.” MacKenzie feels mildly embarrassed about admitting she’d searched him on the internet but she’s a journalist and curiosity sort of comes with the territory. It’s tempered somewhat by the fact that Will called her sexy but she imagines it mostly has to do with her intellect and how she goes about producing a show and very little with him actually wanting to have sex with her.

In googling Will McAvoy, both pre and post Charlotte’s disappearing incident, she’s found that he has a type - six foot, blonde, perfect bodied supermodels. MacKenzie is relatively tall for a woman but she’s petite and hasn’t had botox or a boob job and there’s a bit of softness around her middle she hasn’t been able to shake since having Charlotte four years ago. She likes to have sex with the lights off, if she can manage it, and lately she hasn’t had sex at all. She is not Will McAvoy’s type and she needs to stop thinking she could be because that’s just going to end in utter and complete frustration.

Oh, sure, he might fuck her just to get it out of her system but Will McAvoy doesn’t do relationships from what she’s seen and he damn sure wouldn’t have one with her. She’s intellectual and prickly and has more baggage than Louis Vuitton’s fall collection. Will is confident and calm and has his shit together and he doesn’t need a mess like MacKenzie dragging him down. No. She needs to just get over this stupid crush and work with him and that be the end of it. 

“I wasn’t ever a lawyer, or anything, but I was president of the Cambridge Union. I’m quite accomplished at making my point known to any and all comers,” she says, giggling a bit and trying to hide it by drinking her wine very, very quickly. She lets Will order for them both as she thinks she’s too nervous to eat and when the food comes, she picks at it for want of something to say. Jesus. She’s ruining this and there’s no fucking chance he’ll ever ask her out again if she doesn’t speak up and charm him or what the fuck ever. Even if she’s not supposed to have a crush on him, she does want to make a good impression on the off chance he finds her interesting. 

“I think I feel sorry for your husband.” MacKenzie looks down at her bare finger and waves it in front of Will, shaking her head. “Ah, no. Never been married. No fiance, no boyfriend, no fuck buddy, nothing. Just Charlotte and Clarissa and my work.” Will looks a little surprised at that, she thinks, and that’s intriguing. She wonders if he’s been holding back or something because he thinks she’s taken. She’s absolutely not taken. And absolutely not his type so it’s irrelevant. 

“Guessing her father’s not in the picture, then?” MacKenzie nods. “Understatement, really. We don’t talk about him if we can possibly help it.” Charlotte’s even got her surname and not Brian’s because she refuses to saddle her daughter with her father’s baggage. It’s unfair to her and not something MacKenzie is willing to do to someone that she loves. She’s not sure she ever loved Brian for anything but Charlotte; as terrible as she is at parenting, she loves her little girl and couldn’t imagine being without her. 

“Sorry I asked. Charlotte’s just like a miniature you, though. She’s pretty cute, so far as kids go. I don’t have a lot of experience with it. Never been married and my sisters live in Nebraska so I don’t get to play Uncle Will very often.” MacKenzie is trying to imagine someone as polished as Will stomping around a farm in Nebraska and she’s having trouble getting the image to come into focus. He’s much different than his origins, that’s for certain. Then again, so is she. 

She’s the only daughter of wealthy English diplomats and running away to America to become a single mother and news producer is certainly not what her parents had in mind for her. They’d always expected her to come home to England but unlike her brothers, MacKenzie’s always been a bit wild and restless. She needs a younger country, a place with more hustle and bustle and there’s no place on earth that moves quite as fast as New York. Her heart is, and always will be, in Manhattan. 

“My parents are in England but they adore Charlotte and spoil her mercilessly whenever they get the chance. It’s been a while since I took some time to go see them. I keep meaning to and things just keep coming up with work.” Will gives her a knowing smile and she wonders if that’s because he, too, doesn’t get a chance to go to Nebraska as often as he likes. While she can’t imagine him out there, maybe he’s incredibly close to his family and goes as often as he can get away. She doesn’t think that’s something google can tell her. 

“You should take the time before you switch shows. I’m sure we can find someone to cover for you,” Will says, giving her a fond smile. “Take a week. As your sort-of new boss, I allow it. It’ll be good for you.” MacKenzie blinks at him, a little shocked, but she guesses that the only thing preventing her from seeing her parents is her own damn desire to work and it might be nice to spend some time with Charlotte for a little while and not have a nanny around. She’ll just offer Clarissa a week of paid holiday while she’s gone and it’ll be good for her too. Everyone wins. 

“Um, all right, but if you call me and want me back on a plane after I’ve been there for a day, I’m not coming. I’m taking full advantage of my holiday.” Will laughs and it’s possibly one of the most beautiful things she’s ever seen. She’s never noticed just how incredibly handsome he is when he’s not on camera because this is real, unfiltered, and not prompted. This is the actual _man_ , Will McAvoy, and MacKenzie thinks her crush only intensified in spite of her efforts to tamp it down. 

“No, not going to ask you to come back. Take the time next week and when you get back, everything will be ready for you to take over News Night. We’ll just promote someone up into your old spot and let them take over a little earlier than expected. There’s a guy named Jim Harper I’ve heard good things about, do you know him?”

She does. He’s a clever young producer and MacKenzie thinks he’ll do well in her old show. “Oh, yes, he’s good. I approve of passing the torch to him.” She wants to say something else when Will peels off bills to pay the waiter but she hesitates. She doesn’t know how to even broach the personal aspects of this and she is utterly convinced that she doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of actually going out with him so she refrains, then waffles on that decision. She’s about to ask him if she can come back to his place when her phone buzzes. Clarissa. Charlotte’s got a stomach bug and wants MacKenzie _now_. 

“Shit. I’ve got to go. Sick child,” she says, biting her lip a little. “I’ll see you soon?”


	3. Chapter 3

When she wakes several hours later, she shifts Charlotte off her so she can exchange child for laptop and book their flights. She rings up her parents, who are absolutely delighted she’s coming to stay and MacKenzie feels crushing, overwhelming guilt again. It seems to pursue the thing she really wants, she has to sacrifice every personal relationship she has in exchange. It doesn’t seem fair at all. Why isn’t the myth about the mommy who has everything _true_? Why can’t she be an amazing parent and have everything she wants in her career? MacKenzie ignores the niggling thought at the back of her head that the reason why things are so difficult for her is because she’s raising Charlotte as a single parent. As much as Clarissa helps, it doesn’t change the fact that Clarissa is neither mother nor father to Charlotte and having an extra set of hands around to help with her daughter might make the rest of her life seem slightly less stressful. 

“We’ll be flying tonight,” MacKenzie explains, playing lightly in Charlotte’s curls while she listens to her mother prattle on about how much has to be done before MacKenzie’s plane lands in the morning. It’s not like her parents honestly have to give her the royal treatment, she is family, but her mother will use any and every excuse to throw a party. MacKenzie is a better excuse than usual. 

Her mother is honestly a bit overwhelming and MacKenzie is grateful when the call ends and she can spend the rest of the day getting them ready for the ordeal that is the airport. She hates it and she thinks Charlotte will hate it worse; there’s nothing worse than the dark glares you get when you bring a small child onto a plane. It’s as if having a child means, of course, that the child will misbehave and torture the other passengers for the next eight hours. MacKenzie hopes to prove them all wrong.

Charlotte still isn’t feeling her best but her cries are soft and whimpery and not full-blown screeching and wailing so she counts herself lucky. She sleeps most of the flight and MacKenzie drifts in and out. She’s forgotten how long this flight is and even in business class, it’s less than comfortable to be squashed in a seat for eight hours and try to sleep. When they land at Heathrow, she shuffles off the plane with Charlotte in her arms and her father’s there to greet her at baggage claim. She’s surprised he came himself but she couldn’t be more pleased. It seems one of her brothers is in tow as well and if she didn’t have Charlotte in her arms, she’d tackle him with a hug.

“Michael! I didn’t know you were coming!” He grins and hefts her bags off the carousel so they can head out to the car. It’s Michael’s, she assumes, as her father never drives if he can possibly help it. Charlotte rouses a little and seems a bit shy and scared with the new people. She doesn’t have a lot of experience with men and doesn’t quite know what to do with them sometimes; Will McAvoy had been an exception to that as she’d taken to him instantly. MacKenzie suspects that has to do with all the candy he plied her with. 

She shifts Charlotte into her carseat and fishes out her phone, checking her messages. Most are work emails but there’s one in particular that surprises her. It’s from Will, weirdly enough, and she opens it and scrolls her trackball down to read it as the car pulls away from the airport and heads into the country, out to her family’s estate.

> MacKenzie - 
> 
> Hope you had a safe flight. We’ve got Jim Harper covering for your old show and he’ll be taking over effective immediately. My old EP is sticking around until you get back but don’t feel rushed. I know you haven’t taken a vacation in a couple of years and you deserve it more than anyone. Tell Charlotte that I said hi. 
> 
> \- Will.

She reads it a few more times and tries to decide what it means. Is this just professional interest? Politeness to foster a good relationship with a new EP? Or is it something more, something deeper, and maybe the business dinner was less business and more pleasure? MacKenzie doesn’t know. She’s tempted to call him but refrains, knowing the time difference means he’s already at work and likely not wanting to be bothered by her. Instead, she decides to email him back and limits herself to using her BlackBerry to do it so she won’t get too wordy and say something stupid.

> Hi Will, I just landed. Charlotte’s asleep but I’ll tell her that you said hello when she wakes up - I am trying to keep her on as normal a schedule as possible so the time change isn’t unbearable for her. We shall see. Thank you for letting me take the time to see my family but I can assure you I’m going to be back sooner rather than later; while I love them dearly, it’s much easier to love them when they’re across the ocean from me. 
> 
> I’ll be watching the show and writing notes while I’m gone. Would you like me to save them until I get back or do you want me to forward them to you every day? I can do either but sometimes that’s a lot of criticism to receive all at once. I know how you anchors can be and I don’t want to come off as overbearing. 
> 
> I’ll be as available as possible while I’m here and feel free to call or email, day or night. 
> 
> Really looking forward to working with you,
> 
> MacKenzie.

She tucks her phone into her back pocket and is a little shocked when she feels it buzz again. It appears Will has immediately replied and that’s a little…well. She didn’t think he’d be that eager about emailing his EP about some potential criticism. Obviously he hasn’t been on the receiving end of the kind of criticism she gives on a regular basis. She’s possibly more scathing than any third party reviewer could be and she thinks her critical eye is what keeps (kept, she guesses, since she’s on a new show now) her show on the straight and narrow. She doesn’t just want to be passable, she wants to be _exceptional_ and NewsNight is the show that can make that happen for her. She doesn’t want to get ahead of herself but she thinks she can win awards for this network by pushing Will to be better than he is. She damn sure hopes he’ll be on board with that.

She waits until they’re actually at home before she pulls her phone out again, letting her father and Michael deal with their baggage and Charlotte (she’s still asleep, thumb in her mouth, and she thinks she’ll just let her keep sleeping until later. It’s not going to do any harm for right now for her to get a little nap, especially after spending the night on a plane) while she deals with Will’s email again. She’s going to eventually have to disconnect from her phone and actually engage with people but for now, it’s all right if she’s a little tethered to work. She’s only just left.

> Mac - 
> 
> Go ahead and send criticism as you think of it. I want to know how I’m doing. See you soon, dinner maybe when you get back?

MacKenzie frowns down at her BlackBerry long enough that she hears someone clear their throat behind her and turns to see that it’s her brother. She dashes off a quick reply and tucks her phone back into her pocket before turning her full attention on her brother. She hasn’t seen him in ages but apparently he’s engaged to someone and planning a wedding and somehow her big brother isn’t the confirmed bachelor she always thought he’d be. It’s good for him, especially since Mark’s been married forever, and she worries that once her mother’s done with Michael she’ll set her sights on MacKenzie.

“Thought the point of a holiday meant you didn’t have to check your damned emails all the time,” Michael says, grinning wide at her and she punches him lightly in the arm. “I don’t have a job, Michael, I have a lifestyle. It doesn’t just stop because I decided to relocate for a week.” She’s joking but it’s very true. Doing the news is something that she lives for, not just something that pays the bills and keeps her occupied during the day and it’s very hard to disconnect from the feeling of fulfillment and self-importance she gets as a producer at ACN. There’s hardly any other area of her life where she feels accomplished. 

“Sometimes I wonder if you don’t enjoy the lifestyle more than your actual life,” he says, wistful, and MacKenzie glares at him. She realizes that the only reason she’s truly incensed about it is because it’s true and that just makes her even more angry. She feels guilty and the last person in the world she needs making her feel guilty about her career choices is Michael. Michael had been doing blow off a hooker’s ass not even two years ago and whatever fuckups MacKenzie has had, she’s always been a reasonably responsible adult and stayed out of the long arm of the law (except that once in university when they all got pissed and protested...something she doesn’t quite remember). 

“I’ve always wanted to do the news. Charlotte wasn’t planned and I’ve made concessions for that, believe me. I have help but I still rearranged my entire life for her. I’m a good mother. I’m a fine parent. Am I staying home to make lunches and darn socks? No. But who does? Nobody does that anymore but our mother and look how old she is. I’m doing the best I can with her and she loves me.”

Michael holds up his hands and gives her a quizzical look. “I didn’t say anything about your parenting, M. You brought that up all by yourself. I was just thinking it’s been ages since you went out with anyone and you shouldn’t be so lonely. I know you’ve got Charlotte and all that but she’s not everything you are, you know? She’s just one thing. The most important thing, yeah, but she’s just the one thing and there’s other...there’s other blokes beside her good for nothing father.”

MacKenzie frowns a little deeper. “I’ll have you know I went on a date before I came out here. His name’s uh...Billy. Yes. That’s it. I went out with a man called Billy not even a week before I came out here and I was just emailing him. Those were personal emails and not work emails.” It’s an out and out lie but MacKenzie doesn’t think any harm will come to her for it. It’s not like Michael’s going to be able to figure out who “Billy” is and realize she’s not actually dating anyone. Besides, she really _did_ go out with Will McAvoy a few nights ago and while it was a work dinner, nobody has to know that. It doesn’t matter. It’s just a white lie to smooth things over and when she gets home, maybe, she’ll work on getting herself out there again.

“See? Progress. Come on, Sis, let’s get something to eat. Sure you’re starved, right?” MacKenzie nods. She hasn’t had anything to eat in hours that didn’t come out of a packet and she’s dying for something _real_ and not something processed. The beauty of being at home with her parents means an actual cook on staff full time and not having to eat pre-packaged meals ordered from an organic foods company and shrink-wrapped until she’s ready to eat at half past eleven; Clarissa usually cooks for Charlotte, at least, but MacKenzie’s hours are too haphazard for that. 

“Completely famished. If you feed me, I might forget to be annoyed for a little while.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is now some sexual content.

Helen McHale is a whirlwind of epic proportions and MacKenzie just likes to stay out of her way if she can. Her mother is wonderful and beautiful and kind but she’s absolutely overwhelming when it comes to her opinions. MacKenzie thinks she could handle it if her mother were in news or politics but the most political her mother ever becomes is when they’re trying to elect a new secretary for her gardening society. 

Since she’s brought Charlotte along, her mother insists on waking her granddaughter up in spite of MacKenzie’s begging to just let her sleep. Charlotte is a little fussy and upset, especially since she doesn’t quite remember her grandmother, and that just makes Helen even more cross with MacKenzie in turn. MacKenzie is pretty sure she can’t control the thoughts and feelings of her own barely awake daughter but she keeps her mouth shut. It’s not worth the argument. Charlotte sticks her thumb in her mouth and slides into MacKenzie’s lap, burying her face against her chest.

“Stop, Mum, you’re overwhelming her. She’s very shy around people she doesn’t know and she’s feeling a little out of her element because she’s far from home and her routine. I usually don’t spend this much time with her and I bet she’s missing Clarissa.” At Clarissa’s name, Charlotte perks up a little and looks up at MacKenzie with hopeful eyes. “No, honey, she’s not here. Would you like to call her on the telephone? We can do that later, if you want.” That seems to placate her for the time being but Charlotte still doesn’t say anything, preferring to be quiet and just observe. MacKenzie prefers that over tears. 

“Well, I don’t ever get to see her, I thought I would try to spend some time with her before you run back to America. How have you been?” It’s tacked on to the end of a pretty judgmental statement and MacKenzie has emotional whiplash. She sighs and soothes herself by stroking Charlotte’s hair, marveling as she always does at how soft and fine it is. She looks like a little doll, her daughter, and it never ceases to amaze her. This is a much better line of thought than thinking about how much her mother infuriates her. 

“Busy working. My job is...stressful, long hours, needs a lot of dedication. Before you say anything about me looking for something else, save your breath. I live and breathe for the news. Nothing else would make me happy.” Helen opens her mouth and promptly closes it. The set of her mouth indicates that she isn’t pleased with MacKenzie’s answer but she doesn’t seem to want to pursue it, thank god. MacKenzie can’t take it right now.

“I wonder if Charlotte is getting the love and attention she needs. You could always come back home. You hardly need to work, MacKenzie, and we’d love to have you closer. You could be a lot more hands on if you lived here.” MacKenzie barely refrains from rolling her eyes. Hands on like her mother, who shipped her off to boarding school the moment she had a chance? She’s not doing that to Charlotte. Whatever her schedule, Charlotte will be living at home with her until she’s old enough to go to college. 

“Not discussing my parenting, Mum. We can talk about my projects with the show or politics or family gossip or anything except my parenting or lack thereof. We can talk about Charlotte’s ballet. We can talk about the weather. But we are not talking about how much time I do or do not spend at home.” Helen sighs and says something about needing to go ring a friend about the party she’s throwing later and MacKenzie shifts Charlotte up on her hip as she stands. She’ll just go lie down for a little while and maybe her mother won’t be in such a foul mood when she comes back.

She settles Charlotte in bed in the room next to hers and when she goes back to her room, she digs out her laptop, half hoping she’ll have an email from Will. She doesn’t. She guesses there’s no real harm in emailing _him_ and so she composes a quick one, mostly just to say hello.

> Hi Will. How is everything? I haven’t had a chance to pull up last night’s show but I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say when I do. I’ll write up another email with those comments later and it’ll be a nice distraction from my damn mother. Have a good show tonight! 
> 
> \- M

MacKenzie starts sorting through the rest of her email and she’s a little surprised when she gets a response back from Will about twenty minutes later. He seems fucking glued to his BlackBerry and MacKenzie guesses she can’t say anything about it - she’s glued to hers nine out of ten minutes too.

> M - 
> 
> That stressful, huh? I wouldn’t know. I was always on good terms with my mother. Don’t let her get under your skin too much and if she does, just vent to someone. You can vent to me, I don’t mind.
> 
> \- W

MacKenzie seriously wants to take him up on his offer but instead she sighs and closes her laptop, leaving the email as new in her inbox. She can’t really deal with Will McAvoy being so fucking charming right now and listening to her in a way that nobody really has in ages. She hasn’t dated a lot of men since Brian and none of them knew about Charlotte. That wasn’t something she wanted to pull out on a first date when she didn’t even know whether or not she liked the man and the few who knew of her existence hadn’t met her. MacKenzie hadn’t wanted to risk that for either herself or Charlotte.

But Will knows about Charlotte. Will met Charlotte almost before he met MacKenzie and while it was only one meeting, he seems to have liked her and she him. It bodes well, if she’s thinking of going out with him again. Of course, to go out with him again she’ll have to actually be asked on a date, which she hasn’t yet, and she needs to stop assuming that’s going to happen solely because Will asked her to one business dinner. 

This crush of hers is really getting out of hand and she’s not a schoolgirl for such a thing to be tolerable. This is serious. Will is her anchor and she needs to focus on _that_ relationship and not whatever fantasy she’s building up in her head about dating him and having him be in her life as more than someone she works with. Her anchor. That is absolutely it. 

The house is big and quiet and MacKenzie thinks having some time to herself would go a long way to staving off the nagging headache building at the base of her skull. It’s been ages since she’s had a moment to be able to do more than shower and sleep and start all over at work again so she thinks she’ll go settle in the bath and have a nice long soak. The bath attached to this particular bedroom has a handheld showerhead and that makes her think that there might be something _else_ she can do to relieve stress.

She runs the bath nice and warm and slips off her clothes, dipping a toe in the water to see how hot it is. She’s only filled it halfway so she has some room and once she’s settled (and sighing pretty damn blissfully) she slides one leg up to brace against the lip of the tub so she has a little room to work with. MacKenzie tugs the showerhead close and flips the tap again with her toe, running it nice and warm with steady pressure. Good. It’s not quite a vibrator but she couldn’t really get that through airport security without a lot of awkward questions, now could she?

Normally she doesn’t think about much of anything when she does this but today, she’s thinking about Will McAvoy. She’s thinking about those goregous hands of his, long-fingered and elegant, and she thinks he’d be damn good at using them on her body. She pinches her nipple with her free hand as she slides the showerhead between her legs, letting the water pressure do its job. MacKenzie arches her back a little and presses it closer, thinking about how Will would coax the first orgasm out of her with just those fingers against her clit and pumping into her and then the second would be with his mouth. He’s got a gorgeous mouth too, so quick with an argument and probably quick between her legs too. She hasn’t even kissed him in this fantasy because that makes it too real, like they might have a real relationship, but goddamn she’s going to think about him bringing her off with lips and tongue. 

The water feels nice but now she’s close enough that she just needs to finish so she abandons the showerhead and slides her fingers down between her thighs instead, spreading herself wide the way Will might and using her index finger to rub at her clit. When she finally pushes herself over the edge, she squeezes her breast hard and shifts enough in the bath to send water sloshing over the sides. Jesus _fuck_. 

MacKenzie is a little shaky when she gets out of the bath and the water’s gone lukewarm but she guesses that hardly matters. Her headache is gone and anything her mother annoyed her with earlier has gone down the literal drain. She slides into pajamas and collapses into bed, content to nap until Charlotte wakes up and needs attention. 

She sleeps through dinner and it’s well after ten when she wakes up, Charlotte already having been fed, bathed and sent back to bed. She is the worst goddamned parent in the world and there will be hell to pay tomorrow but for tonight, she nibbles on bread and cheese and goes back to sleep, telling herself she’s just going to deal with the world tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

Will isn’t sure what his fascination is with MacKenzie McHale. He’s spent most of this week counting down the minutes until she’s back and he’s never even had a broadcast with her and, up until the night he asked her to be his EP, had never spoken more than two words to her. There’s something about her that fascinates him and makes him want to know her better - on both the personal and professional level. 

She’s sent him emails throughout the week, both personal and professional. Her critical commentary on his show is absolutely scathing and he’s convinced that she doesn’t like anything he’s doing currently (which, she assures him, is all changing when she gets back) and it’s a little difficult for him to swallow. He’s built a brand around being Midwestern and affable and it seems that his brand is everything that MacKenzie hates. He very, very much wants MacKenzie to like him.

Which brings him to his other problem - as much as it chafes to have someone new come in and tell him he’s doing everything wrong, MacKenzie is someone he desperately wants to impress. He’s been attracted to her since the first time he ever saw her across the bullpen and while he doesn’t think she’ll remember it, he thinks he’s been halfway to falling in love with her since the first time they spoke.

_”Are you just going to stand in my way or are you going to allow me to do my job?” Will isn’t sure who this fiesty little English woman is but he stares at her for a moment longer, feeling pretty stupid when she pushes against his chest and forces him out of her way. She’s tall for a woman but she’s slender; Will is convinced he could circle her wrist with his finger and thumb. He likes the juxtaposition of delicate and strong and it’s just one more thing about her that fascinates him._

_“No, sorry. I’m Will, Will McAvoy?” She rolls her eyes and tosses her hair, glossy brown locks just skimming the top of her shoulders. “I know exactly who you are, everyone in America knows who you are. I’m MacKenzie McHale and I’m late for my own broadcast. Out of the way, please?”_

_He recognizes her now. She’s the EP for the legal criticism show that airs at six, the one that is a moderate answer to Greta Van Susteren’s show on Fox and Will thinks it’s a decent show given the shitty anchor they have. He guesses that has to be chalked up to MacKenzie. He’s about to ask for her number or something equally stupid when he sees that MacKenzie has whipped her hair up into a ponytail and headed down the hall, ready to work and no longer paying him any mind._

_Huh._

He offered MacKenzie his driver earlier in the week and she’d graciously accepted it because apparently getting back and forth from the airport with a child is easier said than done. He’d been glad for that because aside from his stupid, schoolboy crush he genuinely likes MacKenzie and wants to do things for her that blur the line between working relationship and friendship. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with offering his driver to a friend and he’s damn glad that MacKenzie agrees. 

The next thing he does is fucking stupid because ever since he got home from the Friday broadcast, he’d been browsing floral arrangements online. Maybe it’s not out of the ordinary to buy flowers for a new coworker starting on Monday morning but Will thinks it’s probably out of the ordinary to have those flowers at the airport when she touches down from a week abroad. Still, MacKenzie’s had a rough week by her own admission and maybe it’ll make her feel better to have something thoughtful delivered to her when she gets back to New York. Yeah. That’s it. 

He avoids roses because they’re boring and send a message he isn’t ready to send. He gets a little gardenia plant instead. He doesn’t know if MacKenzie is a gardener or anything but at least they’ll smell nice and they’re not a typical, careless gift of flowers that she will just have to throw away in a few days. He types and deletes the message for the card several times before finally settling on a simple “Congratulations, MacKenzie - W” and adding in a box of chocolates for Charlotte. She seemed to like his chocolate last time and it’s the least he can do since she’ll be with her mother when the flowers are delivered.

He thinks MacKenzie’s kid is adorable. He’s got plenty of nieces and nephews back in Nebraska and he’s fond of them but MacKenzie’s daughter is different somehow. She’s a little shy and very sweet and it seems like she just needs a little attention so she can bloom. While he thinks MacKenzie might have been embarrassed Charlotte got away from her at work Will’s secretly glad for it because it gave him a chance to get to know MacKenzie and this part of her life that she apparently keeps very quiet. He’d liked the hour or so he got to spend with Charlotte and wouldn’t mind it happening on a regular basis. 

It’s not the norm for him. He’s never dated a woman with a child before and, frankly, he’s never dated a woman as old as MacKenzie either. He tends to skew his dating pool younger even as he grows older and he guesses that kind of makes him an ass but he hasn’t had any complaints. He hasn’t had a steady girlfriend since just after law school and now it’s just one cheerleader after another, long legs and big boobs and faces that all blur together. MacKenzie is different. She’s not his age, no, but she’s a little closer to it than usual and she’s old enough to have a career and to be able to stand on her own two feet. MacKenzie isn’t looking for her next sugar daddy. MacKenzie isn’t looking for someone to shower her in gifts in exchange for sex. 

Goddamn if that doesn’t make him _want_ to give her everything and then some.

He closes his laptop and rubs against his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to think about something other than MacKenzie. In three days, he’ll see her again, and he’s not entirely sure that he’s prepared for it. He guesses he just needs to focus on doing a good job on camera and maybe he can work in another chance to ask her out. He’s fucking terrible at talking to women he genuinely cares about and he hopes she can realize that it’s his weird version of shyness and not that he isn’t interested.

Will decides that maybe taking a long shower is about all he’s good for while MacKenzie is on the brain and he runs it hot enough that steam fills his tiny bathroom. He strips and slides in beneath the spray, letting the hot water relax his tense muscles. As much as he tries not to think about MacKenzie, she’s on his mind and he leans against the wall, eyes drifting shut. MacKenzie would be fucking gorgeous in the shower with him, pale skin flushed pink from the heat and hair slicked back. She’d push him up against the wall with all the sass she had the first time they met and she’d sink down on her knees and - 

_Fuck._ He’s not sure when he wrapped his hand around his cock but it’s there, pumping slowly as he thinks about MacKenzie McHale’s mouth wrapped around him and sucking hard. There’s nothing more beautiful in the world to him than imagining what she’d look like on her knees for him, breasts full and soft and cheeks hollow as she sucks. He works his hand a few more times and comes, letting out a low moan and collapsing back against the shower wall. 

He lets the water wash away the mess while he thinks about MacKenzie curled up next to him in bed, soft and beautiful and absolutely content to be with him. Jesus. He has it _bad_ for her and he has no idea what the fuck he’s going to do about that. She’s his EP. They have to work together. If they hook up and it goes south, it leaves them both in professional jeopardy.

But goddamn if she doesn’t seem to be worth the risk.


	6. Chapter 6

MacKenzie lands at LGA and there’s a driver waiting for her who introduces himself as Lonny and presents her with a beautiful bouquet and Charlotte with a box of chocolates. MacKenzie gives him a puzzled look and Lonny pulls a card out from his jacket pocket. The envelope is heavy ivory linen paper and the print reads “MacKenzie + Charlotte,” in a bold, slanted hand. She opens it up and reads it quickly, touched that Will had gone to this much trouble for his new EP. She’s especially touched he thought of Charlotte. 

She lets Charlotte sleep in bed with her on this last night together and just as she drifts off to sleep, she murmurs that she wants to see “Billy” again and thank him for her chocolate. MacKenzie sighs and combs her fingers through Charlotte’s hair, promising that she’ll make it happen somehow. It’s hardly appropriate to bring her daughter to work at ACN but she guesses she can work something out where Clarissa brings her by one day around lunch to meet with Will. 

The next morning comes earlier than she’d like and after a week off and a massive time change, MacKenzie is feeling a bit slower than usual when she goes into the 11AM rundown meeting. Her notes are here there and everywhere and when Tess tries to help her get them into some semblance of order, she ends up with her coffee spilled all down the front of her white blouse. “Shit, I’ve got napkins,” she hears someone say and they’re patting her down, mopping up the worst of it.

To her mortification, it’s Will McAvoy who is currently pressing cheap paper napkins against her chest to soak up the coffee. Fucking _fuck_. MacKenzie backs away from him and damn near goes ass over tit in the process. She’s really making a fantastic impression so far and the entire room is torn between laughing hysterically or staring in dumb horror. She sinks into her chair and Will offers her one glossy black Louboutin, like some fucked up version of Cinderella. MacKenzie takes her shoe and breathes in and out a few times, trying to get her bearings.

“All right, now that I’ve shown I’m a complete idiot, I’m MacKenzie McHale, the new executive producer for NewsNight. We won’t go around and learn names, I’m terrible at them, but if you’ll just tell me your name as I address you, I’ll try my best to learn them as quickly as possible. Now. What do you have for me?”

Several hands pop up and MacKenzie feels for all the world like a professor in a freshman orientation class at university. She points toward Tess, the only person whose name she does know, and instantly regrets it.

“Buzz is that Apple’s coming out with a new-” She gets cut off by Will in the back of the room, voicing his disapproval about whatever Steve Jobs has in mind. Will is the managing editor of his show and unlike her last anchor, he seems to be actively involved in the planning for what he says every night. Well. That can be either a blessing or a curse, can’t it? MacKenzie points toward a slim blond girl who introduces herself as Maggie.

“There’s an anti-government protest in Bangkok demanding new elections. They’re calling themselves red shirts, which is probably a bad idea since the red shirts always kick it first.” MacKenzie has no idea what reference she’s making but she jots that down because it’s a story that might have some meat. A few people really want to cover Peshawar but MacKenzie isn’t interested. She’d done a tour in Iraq before she’d gotten pregnant with Charlotte and still has a little trouble processing anything on that side of the world. She realizes she needs to get over it but she doesn’t need to get over it for this particular broadcast. 

“We’ll put together something on Peshawar but I need more than just people killed one another in Peshawar. That happens daily. Make a story out of it and I’ll work it in. I’d also like to cover this Tea Party rally that Sarah Palin spoke at. Who’s my political researcher?” A man named Martin raises his hand and she nods. “Put together something for me. Now, I know we’re to the left of center sometimes but please try to be...well. As fair as possible. There’s no way to be fair and balanced in the face of utter stupidity and I’m certain that’s what Palin is going to deliver but we’ll try our best to make it center. We really have a chance to do something great here, guys, and I cannot stress that enough. We have a chance to bring the public what they _need_ to know to make an informed voting decision. We want our American electorate to make the best choices on election day - be that interim or presidential - and we want to be the network people can trust to get their news without bias. I want you bringing me nothing without facts and figures backing it up. I will not so much as report the weather without three unique sources verifying that the sky is blue, got it? Wiki whatever is not a source, either. I want real, credible sources that I can put on a broadcast.”

Everyone nods and starts milling out, ostensibly to put their stories together. MacKenzie busies herself with organizing her notes again, not that she’d needed them for this meeting, and realizes belatedly that Will has hung behind. She’s mortified that she flailed like an idiot in front of him earlier and she really wishes she could just disappear. She isn’t shy when she’s talking about the news but she’s horribly shy one on one and she feels like she always says the wrong thing. 

“That was a hell of a speech,” he says, dipping down low enough to meet her eyes even though she’s looking down. MacKenzie gives up on her notes and lets them drop to the conference table in a messy sheaf before looking back up at him, chin held high. If he wants to compliment her about her work, she can accept that graciously and try not to think about the fact that she thinks her nipples are visible through her still-damp blouse.

“It’s true. You’re dumbing yourself down every night and I won’t stand for it. I want you to have a smart, informed show worthy of your intellect and I want you to have a showcase for those prosecutorial skills you’re so well known for. I want...I want something I can be proud of and I think you can be the face of that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got dark roast bleeding into my bra and I got this one from Agent Provocateur and I’m going to be cranky if it’s ruined.”

Will’s eyes widen a little at the mention of her bra and she sees his gaze tip down to linger on her breasts for a long moment before he snaps them back up. MacKenzie arches a brow at him and there’s a palpable silence, hanging heavy in the air. She feels like she should say something or move closer or kiss him or something equally moronic and she thinks it might happen when she feels his hand cup her elbow. He watches her face for a moment longer than is comfortable and pulls away, clearing his throat. 

“So I was wondering if uh, if you’d like to go to lunch later?” MacKenzie narrows her eyes a bit, unsure what he’s actually getting at. Their schedules are such that mealtimes are absolutely haphazard and she isn’t sure when he means to have lunch; for all she knows, it’s something he wants right now or something he wants closer to four. “Um, well, I probably need to go home and get a new blouse and see about Charlotte,” she says, nervous and fumbling it. Will nods. 

“Oh, yeah, definitely. You can go get a new blouse. I can send my assistant to get you a blouse. I can guess your size...or you can tell me your size. Okay, I’m starting over. Would you like to go to a late lunch this afternoon around four?”

MacKenzie really, really wants to say yes and it takes everything in her to shake her head no. “I don’t think it’d be the best idea. This is my first day on a new show and I really need all the time I can get to prepare before you go on the air tonight.” Will looks a little crestfallen and he leaves. Once he’s cleared the doorway, MacKenzie lets out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. Goddamn. She has it bad for this man.

Fuck it. She scrambles out of the conference room and shouts across the bullpen, “I’d love to go to lunch with you! At four! In a new blouse!” to the amusement of the entire ACN staff who have buried their heads in their computer screens to hide their giggles. Will turns around and his face is a little pink as he calls back out that she could have just come to his office and told him that. Well. She was making a grand gesture or something and those aren’t always private.

He crosses back over to her and leans in a little bit so they have a modicum of privacy. “Come to lunch with me at four. If you want, invite your nanny and Charlotte to come along. My treat.” MacKenzie feels a little selfish that she doesn’t want to ask Clarissa and Charlotte to tag along on her date and she shakes her head. “Charlotte will have dance then so I don’t really want to pull her out of class. We’ll just go ourselves, though she’ll be cross with me she missed a chance to see Billy.”

Will grins at her and it’s like basking in the sun. “Yeah? She’s sticking with that?” MacKenzie goes a little pink and nods. 

“Sorry. Kids say whatever the hell they want.” Will shakes his head and keeps smiling. “Well, I like it. She can call me Billy any time she wants.”


	7. Chapter 7

MacKenzie dashes out to Saks and picks up a new blouse in a deep green before heading back to work for a few hours but she finds she can’t concentrate. She’s too excited about the prospect of lunch with Will that nothing she manages to do is of any worth and she decides she’ll just bring it with her and discuss it with him over their meal. At a quarter to four, she pops her head in his office and he looks her up and down, gaze clearly appreciative.

“You look nice,” he says simply, smiling, and packs his things up to go downtown with her. His hand finds the small of her back once they hit the elevator and on the way out of the ACN building, he dashes ahead and opens the door for her. He opens the door of the car, too, and slides into the backseat next to her after giving his driver directions to some new tapas place. 

Once they’re settled at a table (and ahead of a long, long line. She guesses there’s perks to being out with Will McAvoy.), MacKenzie pulls out her notes and starts detailing the direction she’d like to take the show in the next few weeks. Will puts his hand against her wrist and laughs a little. “MacKenzie. It’s a goddamn date, not work. Put the notes away and talk to me? We’re on a date.”

MacKenzie frowns at him a bit, unsure of how she should take that. Does he mean a romantic date or is it just a business…date? Could one construe a business lunch as a date? She vaguely recalls the words for date and appointment are the same in Spanish and she doesn’t know if Will speaks Spanish but maybe he does and that’s what he means. Her own Spanish is dreadful and she thinks most of what she knows came from Arturo, an ill-advised fling during a summer in Majorca. None of it is useful.

“I thought dates were at night,” she mumbles and stares at her menu for want of a hole to swallow her. Will tips the menu down and gives her a look she can only describe as puppy dog and desperate. “The date would be at night if we didn’t have a show from eight to nine and you didn’t have a four year old at home. I’m doing the best with what I’ve got. Not that I mind the four year old. She’s a cutie.”

MacKenzie relents and puts her menu down, leveling her gaze at him. “I don’t normally tell the men I date about my daughter, much less let them meet her. You are in a peculiar situation and it makes me feel a bit out of sorts. I don’t like exposing Charlotte to everyone I cross paths with.” Will looks like he’s going to answer when the waiter comes by and takes their order so MacKenzie has to wait on tenterhooks for his response. She bites her lip and watches him, trying to read his tells. 

“Your daughter is a precious part of your life,” he says, quiet and reverent. “And I respect any decision you want to make when it comes to her. But I just want you to know that I’m interested in you, MacKenzie, and not just as my EP. I’d love to go out with you again. We’re not even done with our second date and I can tell you that. I just want you to know that you don’t ever have to pretend Charlotte isn’t a factor. She absolutely is a factor and I respect that.”

It’s not the answer she expected and she isn’t really sure how she responds to it. She’s grateful the food comes because it gives her something to do with her hands and mouth that isn’t spewing out idiocy and she really wishes they weren’t having this date in the middle of their goddamn workday so she could go into more detail about what she’s looking for. It’s been a long time since she’s dated _anyone_ , much less someone she feels as strongly about as Will. There’s a massive learning curve and she’s scrambling to keep ahead of it.

She has her mouth completely full when he floors her again by saying he wants to take her to an award ceremony for some humanitarian award he’s been nominated for. It’s a puff honor, given by rich people to make other rich people look good, but there’s a thousand-a-plate dinner and formal wear involved and he wants her to be his date. She swallows and nods meekly, consenting. God. This man makes her completely stupid and she has no idea how she’s going to manage to be poised and elegant beside him for a whole fucking night if she can’t even go out for glorified appetizers with him in the middle of a Monday afternoon. Will grins at her, clearly pleased she said yes. 

“Good. I’ll get you some more details soon. You can go to Flounce and pick out anything you want to wear, I’ll call up Tiffany and get you something on loan for the night. You’ll have to pose for some pictures in exchange but it won’t be that big of a deal, will it?” MacKenzie is a little stunned by all that information and she giggles, impossibly nervous. She grew up wealthy and is used to the comforts that come with that but there’s a difference in her type of wealthy and what Will’s talking about. Wealth and celebrity have a vast chasm between them. 

“Um, well, make sure it’s something I can afford if I lose it. I’m not exactly the most conscientious person when it comes to that kind of thing. Conscientious...I don’t think that’s the right word.” She frowns a bit, trying to decide how to express what she means and then bursts into more giggles. “I have no idea what word I’m reaching for but I lose things! I’m forgetful. I’ve just got so damn many things in my brain that sometimes they leak out from my ears.”

Will watches her with a look she’d call besotted if it was on anyone else and when the check comes and she pulls out her wallet to pay her part, he pushes it away. “Date, MacKenzie. The women I go out with don’t pay their part of our date. Or my part. It’s a date and I pay.” He rolls out the bills for their check and the tip and comes around to her side of the table to help her up. His hand is warm at the small of her back and MacKenzie lets herself fantasize for a moment what it might feel like against her bare skin while she rode his cock.

That’s a dangerous line of thinking.

There’s more traffic now than when they headed out and MacKenzie sighs as they’re caught by yet another red light. She enjoys Will’s company immensely but she knows that when they get back to ACN, it’s going to be all business and no pleasure. She’s a bit of a hardass as an EP and as much as she likes Will and wants to keep going out with him, she’s not going to slack at her job to make sure he likes her. She hopes he can respect her dedication. 

They’re paused at another traffic light when she takes a chance and leans over to kiss his cheek. “I had a fantastic time this afternoon,” she murmurs, and just as she moves to pull away, Will catches her chin in his hand and turns her face back toward his, leaning in to kiss her full on the mouth. Fuck. His mouth is soft and surprisingly tender and it’s a nice juxtaposition with the scrape of his stubble against her skin. He’ll have to shave before he goes on air, she thinks, because HD will pick up what the human eye cannot.

MacKenzie twists in her seat to press her thigh against his and Will deepens the kiss, hand sliding into her hair to cup the back of her head and drag her closer. He isn’t going easy on her at all and his lips and tongue are demanding, coaxing whimpers and moans from her even as she’s trying to behave herself because they’re in semi-public and about to go back to work. She puts her hands against his chest to push away but curls them into his shirt instead and Will uses his other hand to drag her into his lap. 

She can feel him hot and hard even through the thick denim of his jeans and she’s shameless when she wriggles against his lap. It’s Will’s turn to moan then and the hand in her hair pulls a little, just enough to add a hint of pain to the immense pleasure of his mouth. If he’s this fucking good at kissing, just how good is he at the rest of it? MacKenzie is contemplating how to best fuck him in the backseat when the car comes to a jerking stop and she reluctantly pulls her mouth away from his. Will’s hand is still at her waist, thumb tracing the curve of it and sending shivers down her spine. 

“Back to work?” she asks, breathless and flustered. His hair is a little ruffled and she reaches up to straighten it, smoothing it down as if she’d done it a thousand times before. He doesn’t seem to mind her stealing an intimacy and smiles at her. Will McAvoy is fucking gorgeous when he’s just been kissed - eyes sparkling, cheeks a little flushed, happy grin on his face. 

“Under duress,” he counters, carefully shifting her off his lap and leaning across to open the door for her. MacKenzie slides out and makes a point of slowly tugging down her skirt, letting Will have a nice, long look at her legs.

She suspects he might be a leg man.


	8. Chapter 8

MacKenzie is kind of a hard ass as an EP but Will doesn’t really mind it. She’s brilliant at what she does and she’s an absolute joy to watch - he just doesn’t necessarily like being on the receiving end of her scathing criticism. It takes a few weeks for him to get used to her particular brand of producing but once he does, he doesn’t want anyone else. He had just talked to MacKenzie the night before about what he wanted to do for the show tonight so he’s a little shocked when he comes in Monday morning and sees Don in the rundown meeting and MacKenzie is nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Mac?” Don frowns a little and motions him over to the corner so they can talk a little more privately as the APs all start filing in. “Mac’s kid’s in the hospital. Her appendix burst,” Don explains quietly. “She’s okay but they had to do surgery and she’s going to be in the hospital for a week or two. Mac’s losing her shit and I could barely get anything out of her on the phone but I’m going to be filling in.”

Will doesn’t really want to be here at ACN working on the show when MacKenzie’s by herself worrying over a sick child so he sits through the rundown meeting and runs out, swinging by a toy store and a florist to pick up a doll and flowers for Charlotte. He has no idea what to do with a sick kid but he can try his best and hope the gesture’s appreciated by both MacKenzie and the kid. When he stops at the front desk of the hospital to ask where Charlotte McHale is, a woman tugs at his sleeve and speaks in a softly-accented voice. 

“Will? You’re looking for Charlotte and MacKenzie?” He nods, not sure who this person is, and she tugs him away from the front desk and over to a more private area of the lobby. “I’m Ms. McHale’s nanny. I just came from upstairs and Charlotte’s napping right now. MacKenzie needs to, probably, but she won’t. I need to go see about my boys.” Will gets the room number from her and heads upstairs, knocking lightly on the door before pushing it in.

Charlotte looks small and pale in the bed and since this is a children’s hospital, at least it’s painted in cheery colors and doesn’t look quite as miserable as hospitals tend to look. MacKenzie is asleep in a chair beside her bed, head tipped back, and she startles a little when he says her name.

“What? Oh. I didn’t want Don to tell you. I was going to be back in time for the show tonight,” she says, looking a bit sheepish. Will shakes his head and hands her the flowers. “These are for Charlotte. The doll is too but, well, I guess I can hang onto it until she wakes up.” Charlotte shifts a little in the bed and wakes up, face pained and close to tears.

“Hey, kid,” Will says softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You had a day, huh?” Charlotte nods and screws her face up, almost as if she’s trying to decide whether or not it’s worth the effort to cry. Will hands her the doll. It’s one they don’t make anymore, Samantha, but he knows someone who knows someone who had one put up in the back for him. “I brought you a doll. She looks like you and everything.” 

Charlotte’s chin wibbles a little and she manages to croak out “Billy,” before completely wrapping herself up in the doll. She’s still not moving much because she has stitches and likely feels terrible but Will’s glad to have distracted her a little from it. Besides, the kid really does look exactly like the doll he picked out and he thinks he made a good choice. MacKenzie is sniffling lightly behind him and he turns, giving her a sheepish smile. He’s about to ask if she needs anything when a nurse comes in and says, in no uncertain terms, that MacKenzie should go have coffee and take a little break. 

“Come on, you heard the lady. Let’s get some coffee and let them do whatever they need to do with Charlotte for a minute?” MacKenzie looks torn, as if she doesn’t like the idea of leaving them, but she ultimately lets Will lead her out of the room and down to the little coffee shop to have coffee and a cookie. She picks at her cookie, breaking it off into tiny pieces, and Will covers her hand with his. 

“She’s fine, Mac. It could have been a lot worse.” MacKenzie sighs and looks at him straight on for the first time today and Will can see how tired she really is. Her eyes are bloodshot and there’s deep shadows beneath them. Her hair is limp and lifeless and she just looks exhausted and worried. Will wants to ease that somehow but he isn’t really sure what he can do beyond what he’s already done to make things a little easier. 

“She could have died, you know, because I work too fucking much. Clarissa called me and I didn’t immediately call back.” Will sighs a little and shakes his head. “Can’t think like that, Mac. Charlotte’s fine. She’s a little sick right now but she’ll get better and everything is fine. If you ever want time off to spend with her, you’ve got it. I’m not exactly going to punish you for taking the time out to spend with your kid.”

He slides his chair around so it’s next to her instead of across from her and slides his arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, MacKenzie. This isn’t your fault. You’re allowed to depend on other people to help you, okay? You just say the word and you have all the time you need. Charlie and I aren’t going to keep you from Charlotte if you really want to be here. You know, my apartment is close by. If you want to sleep there and come back to the hospital, you’re welcome to it.”

He draws away enough to pull out his keys and pulls off his spare. “I’ll tell the doorman to expect you. Let yourself in whenever you want, okay?” MacKenzie looks a little out of sorts but pockets the key and Will hopes that means she’ll actually accept his offer and isn’t just paying him lip service about it. 

“I should get back upstairs,” MacKenzie says and Will shakes his head. “Nah, go on to my place. I’ll go sit with Charlotte for a little while so you can relax, okay? I’ll be back in time for the show tonight, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure? Don won’t need you?” Will laughs and shakes his head again. “I don’t give a fuck if Don needs me or not. You need sleep and Charlotte doesn’t need to be alone. I’m going to stay here until you get a chance to rest.” MacKenzie nods and leans forward to press a kiss against his lips, quick and fleeting. “Well, I’m going to go up with you to say goodbye to Charlotte and then I’m going to go get some rest?”

Will thinks she should probably have more than a few hours of sleep but beggars can’t be choosers. He reaches for her hand when they get in the elevator and she holds it the whole way up, squeezing it lightly when they leave to walk down the hall to see Charlotte. “Charlotte? Will’s going to stay with you while Mummy goes to get some sleep.” Charlotte doesn’t really respond and MacKenzie leans over to kiss her forehead before leaving the room and Will settles in the chair across from the bed.

“Feeling bad, huh?” Charlotte nods, the doll clutched tight to her. “Tummy,” she points out, and Will nods. “I had my appendix out too once, when I was a kid? It hurt a lot but then I got to stay home from school for a week and that was pretty fun. It’s gonna be okay, I promise.” He tugs the chair closer and reaches out for her hand, the one that doesn’t have an IV running through it. It’s so tiny in his that he marvels at it for a moment. 

“Stay, Billy?” He nods and squeezes her hand a little. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere. Not even for the show tonight. I’m gonna call and stay right here with you instead.” Charlotte doesn’t seem to follow all of that but she nods and closes her eyes in a way that is so goddamn MacKenzie that it makes him ache. He pulls out his phone and calls Don, telling him to put Elliot on tonight, and when that’s done, he brushes Charlotte’s hair back off her forehead. 

“Not going anywhere, kid.”

***

Will has fallen asleep slumped in his chair when he hears the distinctive click of a pair of Louboutins against a concrete floor and when he looks up, weary, MacKenzie is standing in front of him with a deep frown on his face. “You let me oversleep and now you’re not even on television tonight. What the he...heck, Will? You could have come and gotten me so you could be on television.”

Her voice is a soft whisper to keep from waking Charlotte and Will keeps his just as soft. “I thought you needed the rest and Charlotte didn’t want me to go. I wasn’t about to leave her. I’ll be on the show the rest of the week but right now, I had bigger concerns. You look uh, rested?” MacKenzie gives him another dark look before relenting and slumping into the other chair in the room.

“I needed the sleep, yes. They’ve been letting me stay overnight here but I think I’m going to go back to bed at your place tonight if that’s all right with you? Clarissa offered to stay overnight with Charlotte so she doesn’t get scared. I think if one of us is here at all times, she’ll be all right.” Will nods. He can’t imagine how fucking scary it would be to be a little kid and in the hospital without your family.

“Yeah, you’re welcome to my place whenever you want. Food, shower, bed...any of it. I care about both of you, MacKenzie. I’ll give you anything that you need.” MacKenzie gives him a soft look that he can’t quite read and he thinks he sees tears shimmering in her eyes. She looks away and when she looks back at him, she’s composed again.

“Thanks, Will. For everything.”


	9. Chapter 9

When Clarissa shows around nine, she brings cards from her boys addressed to Charlotte and MacKenzie is touched by the gesture. More than just a job, Clarissa seems to treat Charlotte as one of her own and it’s clear that her boys think of her as a sister too. It’s good, considering Charlotte is always going to be an only child. She thanks Clarissa for staying overnight and presses kisses to her cheeks before joining Will, who’s waiting just outside the room for her.

“Do you think she’s going to be all right?” Will puts his hand at the small of her back and guides her through the corridors of the hospital, winding this way and that until they’re in the elevator to head back to the street. He’s called his driver already and he’s waiting at the curb for them by the time they walk out into the muggy July night. Will reaches out and opens the door for her and slides in beside her.

“She’s going to be fine, Mac,” he assures her. “She loves Clarissa just like she loves you and she probably won’t even wake up during the night. If something happens, we’re going to be close and there’s nothing to worry about.” She wrings her hands during the car ride and up the elevator to his apartment and when it seems like she’s going to pace a hole in the floor, Will catches her by the shoulders and kisses her fiercely without warning. MacKenzie doesn’t quite know what to do at first and her hands are awkward, scrabbling down his back and gripping his hips and ass before she realizes she’s done it. He hauls her up closer, slanting his mouth over hers and MacKenzie whimpers and yields, pressing against him and letting him take her weight.

Will’s hands slide up her back and tug her blouse out of her skirt, not stopping until they’re pressing against her bare skin. She feels like she’s catching on fire and she breaks her mouth away to ask him to take her to bed when he catches it with his again, acting as desperate as she feels. It’s like fire and it catches, igniting something between them that will rage higher and higher until it just runs out of fuel. MacKenzie hopes that it never does but she doesn’t particularly have the best track record with relationships.

They burn bright and fast the way she has with nearly everyone else in her life but there’s something deeper about this with Will that kind of scares her. She slides her hands up between them and starts working on the buttons of his shirt, undoing them slowly and bending her head down to kiss from his neck down his chest. God, she hasn’t wanted someone the way she wants him in a really long time and it feels good that this part of her is still alive and well even if it’s been dormant for a while.

“Can I take you to bed?” Will’s voice seems a little nervous and MacKenzie laughs softly, rising on her tip toes to press her lips against his ear and whisper “Yes, absolutely,” before sliding her hand in his so he can tug her back to his room. Will’s apartment is kind of ridiculous with the sort of view you only see in the movies. But, unlike a movie, Will actually has the paycheck to back this view up and she can’t help but gasp a little when she sees the twinkling lights of the city outside his bedroom window; when she’d stayed here earlier in the day, she’d slept on the couch.

“Christ, what a view,” she says, voice soft. Will’s arms go around her from behind and he presses his lips against her neck. “I know. You’re beautiful.” It’s a terrible line but it sounds so utterly sincere coming from him that she turns in his arms and cups his face in her hands before kissing him long and deep. His hands are gentle against her clothes, taking their time in stripping her, and eventually she manages to get his clothes off too and drag him down to the bed with her. 

The moonlight glints off his hair and catches a little gray. MacKenzie thinks it’s gorgeous but she can imagine Will is vain about it as all on-air talent seems to be. He has a right to be vain. He’s a damn good looking man and there’s something intoxicating about a man unafraid to dress well and put time and effort into it; Brian never did. Will kisses her neck and slides down, mouth moving over her breasts. She tangles a hand in his hair and digs her nails into his scalp when he fixes his mouth against one nipple, teasing it lightly with the edge of his teeth and flicking his tongue against it. He pulls away and kisses just beneath it, against the curve of her breast, before moving to the other to do the same. By the time he’s fixed his mouth against the curve of her right breast, she’s squirming and bucking under him and begging for more. 

“Be patient. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, I want to do it right.” The idea that Will has been fantasizing about her is a little overwhelming and MacKenzie falls quiet except for the occasional whimper when his lips find somewhere sensitive - her navel, her left thigh. He pushes her thighs apart and spreads her with his thumbs, breathing in a little before sliding his tongue against her. MacKenzie isn’t sure how his mouth can be _this soft_ and while it’s completely unsatisfying, she suspects that’s by design. 

Will’s hands slide up under her ass and drag her closer; he sucks hard on her clit before soothing it with his tongue and it’s fucking maddening because every time she gets close he pulls away. It’s like he knows just how to get to her, just what will bring her to the brink of coming and then he withholds it. It’s torture. She’s about to scream when he slides two fingers in and crooks them a little, sucking hard and steady until she comes and, as she does, she digs her fingers into his shoulder and leaves a hell of a mark. Oh well. 

Will looks smug when he lifts his head and MacKenzie rolls her eyes, which prompts him to kiss her thigh before sliding up beside her. His cock is hard against her hip and when she reaches out and touches him, his eyes drift shut and he clenches his teeth. “Fuck, MacKenzie, I’m going to lose it. Careful.” MacKenzie strokes him a few more times and elicits a low groan before she rolls away and tugs open the drawer on his nightstand to get a condom. 

She offers to roll it on and Will shakes his head. “Too close, Mac.” She has never been so aware of how big he is until now and when he rolls on top of her, she feels like he’s everywhere. MacKenzie spreads her thighs a little wider and he slides in, nice and slow, and god. He really is everywhere. She presses her lips to his cheek. 

“Fuck me? Please?” Will kisses her fiercely, teeth snagging her lower lip and the kiss is a furious counterpoint to slow, steady thrusts. Will fucks her like he has all the time in the world and she guesses he does but it’s still a nice change from her usual style of getting the job done and heading back to her own bed to sleep alone. She gets the sense that is not how Will McAvoy treats a woman. 

MacKenzie hooks her leg over his hip so he can press deeper and his hand is rough in her hair when she squeezes around him, coaxing him to come in every way that she can. He rocks into her a few more times before he does come and kisses her tenderly. When Will opens his eyes to look at her, MacKenzie is shaken by just how much _feeling_ she sees there.

She is in way over her head.


	10. Chapter 10

September comes and with Charlotte fully on the mend, MacKenzie’s focus shifts toward school. She has already gotten into a highly-recommended private school and she seems bright, even if she’s shy, so MacKenzie doesn’t think she’ll do poorly (neither does Will, but it’s not his place to say). The first few days go without incident though Clarissa points out that she clings to her legs and doesn’t really want to go. The difference in school and pre-school means staying all day and not just half the day and it takes her a few weeks to acclimate.

But acclimate she does. 

In the middle of October, MacKenzie has to ask for a little time off just before the show in order to go to Charlotte’s Open House. She requested the earliest possible appointment and still ended up running late, ending up having to send Will to pick Charlotte up from school and to have the conference over the phone in her office. The conference is all good things, mostly that Charlotte’s bright and lovely and well-behaved and MacKenzie hopes Will isn’t too put out with her for begging his indulgence again; she has to run the last rundown and while Will doesn’t need to be there, MacKenzie does and she needs to not be distracted by her child.

“I’ve got this,” he says, hauling Charlotte up into his arms and covering her face in kisses. She giggles and MacKenzie nods, heading into the conference room to run the meeting.

***

“So, kid, did you like having me pick you up from school today?” Will has learned over the past two months or so of dating MacKenzie officially that Charlotte is kind of quiet until she warms up but once she does, you can’t shut her up. Today, she’s extra excited and talks about how they talked about their pets in class today and how she had to tell everyone that she used to have a goldfish but he decided he’d rather go live in the ocean so they flushed him down the toilet.

“So now I don’t have a pet,” she says, matter-of-fact, and sucks lightly on the lollipop Will’s driver had given her earlier. She’s almost through with it but Charlotte, like Mac, is meticulous about such things. Will slides his hand over her curls, teasing one so it springs against her face and makes her laugh.

“Do you want one? A little kitten or a puppy?” Charlotte’s eyes go big and she shakes her head. “Mummy won’t let me. Too much work.” She seems to have chosen her words carefully, as if this is a conversation she’s familiar with. Oh. Figures. At this age, parents do more of the pet care than the kids do even if it’s ostensibly the child’s pet. “Maybe if I get out of the baby class I can.” Will isn’t sure what this is and he presses Charlotte to explain. She screws her face up a little and he can tell she’s trying to reach for the words. While she’s made a lot of progress over the last several months, especially since starting school, some concepts are hard for a newly-five year old girl.

“I don’t talk right,” she says, the words mumbled. Charlotte has a little bit of a lisp and Will always chalked it up to not knowing which accent to use at any given point. She lives in New York and is surrounded by Americans but MacKenzie is from Kent and Clarissa is from Johannesburg so between British and Afrikaans, he’d be confused too. Clearly there’s more to it than that and he can tell it makes her shy. “Have to go to the lady to talk right.” 

Will knows this feeling, the shyness and wishing you could disappear. When he was a little older than Charlotte, he still had a stutter that made him stay quiet even if he was bright and knew the answers in class more often than not. It got worse when his dad was hard on him or his siblings or there were other things going on at home and it was only after he got interested in music and, later, debate that it fully went away. When he sings, the stutter isn’t there. It hasn’t ever shown back up since he fully shook it off around fifth grade but sometimes he still has a nightmare that it’ll show up in the middle of a broadcast. 

“I used to too,” he promises, causing Charlotte to look up with wide eyes. “Nuh uh,” she says, with all the authority of a five year old and he laughs a little. To her, he must look like some superhero. “You talk good, Billy, you didn’t have to go to the lady.” He leans down and kisses her hair lightly, lingering a little longer than maybe he should. There’s something about the admiration and adoration he gets from Charlotte that’s better than any record-setting audience. Maggie, one of the APs, comes in and says it’s time for Will to get ready and that she’ll take Charlotte for the broadcast. Will is reluctant to let her go but Charlotte seems content enough and he gets ready, a little extra spring in his step.

Being around MacKenzie’s kid is good for his ego. 

The broadcast is uneventful except for the part where MacKenzie has to have another meeting afterward. She looks pained but it’s October and elections and these things happen. He flashes her a quick smile. “Look, MacKenzie. What if I just have Lonny drive Charlotte and I back to your place and I just wait until you get home? It’s not a big deal.” Charlotte, who up until this point had been a little sleepy, starts bouncing around a little. “Can Billy stay? Stay the _whole_ night?” 

MacKenzie has a panicked look on her face for half a moment before it smooths out into something more neutral. “Sure. We’ll just make a whole slumber party of it. I don’t know how late I’ll be, Will, so you’re welcome to stay over after you put Charlotte to bed.” MacKenzie bends down a little to look Charlotte directly in the eyes. “You are going to be good for Will, all right? No dragging him around to look at all your toys. You brush your teeth and get in your pajamas and go straight to bed, all right? If you need help with brushing your hair, Will can help. Promise me?” Charlotte shakes her head up and down, sending her curls into a riot, and slides her hand into Will’s. “Promise, Mummy.” She turns to Will, eyes bright and dimple in her cheek. “Will you read me a story, Billy?”

God. Like he could say no to _that_? He nods. “Three, if you want it. Come on. Let’s get home before Mummy says we’re both in trouble.”


	11. Chapter 11

Lonny drops Will and Charlotte off at MacKenzie’s brownstone in Brooklyn and even though her mother told her not to, Charlotte makes quick work of dragging him around to show him everything in her room. She has every toy a little girl could possibly want and then some; it’s clear that MacKenzie denies her daughter nothing. Still, it touches him that clearly the thing she treasures the most is the doll he bought her when she was sick. She carries the thing everywhere and today they have on matching little dresses. 

“Can you do your pajamas yourself?” he asks. He’s perfectly fine with helping if he needs to but he’s still relatively a stranger to MacKenzie and her child and he doesn’t want anything to get misconstrued. Charlotte nods quickly and Will steps outside, waiting for her to call out that she’s done. Once she is, he stands in the doorway of her bathroom and watches while she brushes her teeth. 

“Mummy says I gotta or I’ll get cav-tees,” Charlotte says around the brush. She has entirely too much toothpaste in her mouth and even after rinsing and spitting a few times, she has blue on her lips. Will laughs a little and dabs it away with a wet cloth. It’s then that he notices the snarls in her hair and grabs her comb. “Okay, kid, we have got to do something with this hair.” Charlotte makes a little face and pouts. Will sure hopes a tantrum isn’t coming.

He follows her over the bed and settles behind her, gently starting to comb through her curls. He starts from the bottom and works his way up, careful not to tug and pull at her scalp. Charlotte relaxes after a few minutes and once he’s done, he presses a kiss to the top of her head. God, he loves this little girl already. Her mother, too, but that’s not something he’s willing to chance saying out loud just yet. Charlotte leans back against his chest and sighs.

“Better than Mummy or Cissa. Doesn’t hurt.” Will holds her for a moment or two before squeezing her shoulders. She wanted a story earlier and he intends to give her at least one before he tells her lights out. He gets the book and settles at the end of her bed but Charlotte bolts up, eyes wide.

“No, gotta check the under the bed,” she says, pointing. “Cissa always checks to make sure nothing can get me.” Will smirks a little and ducks under the bed even though it’s going to kill his knees in the morning. “Hmm. Something furry under here. Lot of teeth. It’s a dust monster,” he says, bright and animated. “You know how to get rid of it?” When he looks up, Charlotte’s eyes are big in her little face and he’s struck yet again just how much she looks like her mother. Jesus. She’s MacKenzie in miniature. 

“Giggle. They’re scared of laughing.” He stretches his hands up to tickle her and Charlotte giggles wildly, shrieking and squirming to get away. When she calms down a little, he tucks her into bed and starts reading one of her favorite books: _Eloise_. He finishes it and leans in, pressing a kiss against her little cheek. “I’m going to take you to stay in Eloise’s room. It’s real. Any time you want.”

Charlotte sighs sweetly and turns in the bed, drifting off to sleep. He watches her for a moment just to be sure she’s out and then flicks on her nightlight before leaving the room.

***

Will is dozing on the couch when MacKenzie walks in and if he thought he was tired, he has nothing on her. She’s been working herself to the bone trying to cover as much as she can before the elections in November and it’s starting to show. He smiles at her, soft and lazy. “Hey, you.”

MacKenzie sighs and toes off her shoes, losing a good four inches in height and when he moves to get up, she shakes her head and comes to sprawl against his lap instead. She kisses his chin and he wraps his arms around her and slides one hand up to rub against the back of her neck. God, she’s tense.

“Charlotte’s in bed?” Will nods. It had been easier than he expected to get her in bed and settled down and he finds that he kind of liked being here for that part. He hopes he’ll get a chance to do it more often but that requires a lot more conversations with MacKenzie about where this is going. He wants to tell her that he loves her but every time he goes to say it, he thinks it’s too soon and lets it die in his throat. He toys with her hair a little.

“Thank you. This time of year is terrible. When she was an infant, I was pumping nonstop and barely ever home. It’s a little easier now but not by much.” God. He wants to tell her that he’ll be there to help whenever she needs it but, again, that’s a conversation he doesn’t think MacKenzie will be ready for just yet. The last thing he wants to do is scare her off. 

“You know I care about you and Charlotte both,” he says, kissing her temple lightly. “I’ll be here whenever you need me to be here. However you need me.” MacKenzie looks up and her eyes are soft and a little sad, as if this is something she hadn’t considered before now and when she leans in to kiss him, it’s furious and with a passion he isn’t quite prepared for. Shit. He slides a hand under her blouse and presses his palm against her lower back. He doesn’t dare do anything more out here on the couch where Charlotte could wander in on them and in a minute, MacKenzie stands up and tugs him to his feet.

“Come on. I have an idea,” she says, and the glint in her eye tells him that it’s going to be something he likes. Once they’re back in her bedroom, Will settles on the bed only to be confused when she walks right past him to the bathroom instead. She flicks on the taps and the water runs hot enough to send steam billowing and clouding up the room. It’s also loud and now Will sees MacKenzie’s point - less of a chance Charlotte’s going to interrupt them if she’s less than perfectly quiet. It doesn’t take him long to strip and by the time he’s done, MacKenzie has already stepped into the shower and is offering him a hand.

He doesn’t waste any time. His hands fit to her curves even as his mouth seeks hers out for a long, hard kiss under the spray. He dips his head and sucks at her breast even as his fingers slip down her stomach to part her thighs and tease her. He isn’t slow about it. He doesn’t know how much time they have and he wants nothing more than to make MacKenzie feel good after this long day. He catches his teeth against her nipple and she gasps; he rewards her with sliding his fingers in her and rolling over her clit with his thumb. They’ve been together enough times that he knows just how to crook his fingers and just how much pressure to apply and MacKenzie is coming, biting her own hand to choke off her whimpers and moans. The pounding of the spray keeps them (reasonably) muffled and Will thinks they’ll be all right.

When she comes down, MacKenzie’s hand wastes no time in sliding down to encircle his cock between slim fingers but he laughs and catches her wrist. “Not quite. More like this.” He catches her hips in his hands and turns her. MacKenzie seems to follow what he’s after because she presses her palms flat against the tile of her shower wall and spreads her thighs, giving him plenty of room to slide into her from behind. He’s planning on it, yeah, but not until he teases her a little first.

He rubs his cock against the cleft of her ass, almost biting his tongue to keep from letting out a long, vulgar stream of cursing at how fucking soft she feels. He’s always been a leg man and MacKenzie has a fantastic pair but he’d be a damn fool to deny that she’s got a gorgeous ass too. He slides a hand up between her and the wall to cup her breasts and rocks his hips forward, the head of his cock nudging at her to tease but not to satisfy. MacKenzie makes a choked little sob and he surges forward, nipping and biting just beneath her ear as he slides home.

“Jesus, you feel good.” MacKenzie is nonverbal by this point, mostly whimpers and moans and Will’s pretty much in the same boat. He’d gotten hot and hard when he was getting her off and the feel of her bare and slick around his cock is entirely too much to handle for long. He builds up a slow rhythm, sinking himself in her to the hilt before pulling back again and her cries spur him on. He pinches her nipple and rocks forward one last time, coming and slumping against her so she’s pinned between him and the tile-covered wall. 

“Fuck,” MacKenzie murmurs softly. “Fuck, that was good. So good.” Will kisses her shoulder and pulls away so he can help rinse them both off. He’s especially careful with MacKenzie since he knows he got a little rough at the end and by the time he turns off the water, she’s flushed pink and her eyes are dark and soft. He takes his time toweling her off and helping her into a soft, satiny nightgown before sliding his own boxers back on to sleep. He and MacKenzie have never really shared a bed just to sleep before and in a lot of ways this feels more intimate than the sex they just had. He takes the left and she takes the right but really they mostly just end up in the middle with MacKenzie sprawled against him and her head against his chest.

“I love you, MacKenzie.” She’s quiet for a moment, just watching him, and then she leans in and gives him the softest, most tender kiss he thinks he’s ever received in his life. She didn’t say it back but that doesn’t mean that Will can’t _feel_ it and know that she feels the same way.

She has to.


	12. Chapter 12

WILL MCAVOY’S READY MADE FAMILY?

MacKenzie doesn’t want to think about the headline splashed across several tabloids today but there’s no denying that there’s apparently a hell of a lot of interest in her relationship with Will. She hopes Britney Spears will do something stupid and bump her off the front page but as it is, there’s a grainy photo of she and Will and Charlotte, the latter in Will’s arms and shielded from the cameras. As much as she loves Will, Charlotte is not enamoured of her sudden fame and MacKenzie really wants to find a way to be anonymous again.

This is the last show before the Christmas break and she and Will are planning to pick up a Christmas tree for his apartment tonight after work. MacKenzie is taking the opportunity to have her kitchen redone over the holiday and they’re living with Will temporarily. Charlotte loves it, since Will’s place is closer to everything she wants to do over Christmas but it frustrates MacKenzie because Will lives in a veritable hotbed of paparazzi. 

The show goes mostly without incident and MacKenzie heads back to her office, fingers trailing over the glossy broadsheet with her and Charlotte plastered on it. She startles when she hears a knock and Will walks in, already changed out of his suit and in a soft blue sweater and pressed trousers. He’s looped the scarf Charlotte picked out for his birthday around his neck; he’s worn it every day since she gave it to him.

“Ready to go pick out a tree? I bought some more ornaments earlier this week,” Will says, flashing her a smile. It’s hard to feel guilty about being with him when he looks at her like this and MacKenzie cannot deny that she’s falling for him. She’s not there yet, not quite in love, but she knows it’s inevitable. He’s good to her and he’s good to her daughter. He just comes with baggage she isn’t sure she can handle just yet. MacKenzie forces a smile and nods. 

“Absolutely, just let me get my coat.” While she’s busy shrugging into it, Will flips through the magazine on her desk. “Fucking Christ,” he mutters, paging through it. “My fucking ex-girlfriend has her hounds on me to make me miserable. I was never in the tabloids until I started dating you. I don’t even know what the fucking story is...we’re just dating and it’s not like we’re doing lines of coke off the kitchen table in front of Charlotte.”

MacKenzie looks up and arches a brow. “I wasn’t aware we’d be doing lines of coke anyway, much less in front of my five year old. Your ex-girlfriend runs a tabloid?” Will nods, then points out a byline on the story about their relationship. Nina Howard. MacKenzie vaguely recognizes the name but only because she used to page through these gossip magazines while at the salon. Since she started being feature entertainment in them, she’s stopped.

“We dated off and on for about a year. It was never serious on my end but I guess it was serious for Nina because she’s made my life hell since you turned up. I offered to pay her off to keep her from running it but we couldn’t come to an agreement. Fucking...look, I’ll handle this, okay? Charlotte’s not going to end up in the tabloids again.”

MacKenzie tucks her hair back behind her ears and keeps her expression mild. She isn’t entirely sure how Will’s going to stop the tabloid assault considering the stories about him are selling papers; all media is in the business of making money, especially a tabloid. Besides, it must be a nice break from Jennifer Aniston. “She’d better not. It’s one thing for my face to end up plastered in them. I would be willing to risk that. But Charlotte...I don’t want Charlotte to grow up with cameras in her face every moment of every day. I don’t want it, no matter how much I like being with you.”

Will looks a little stricken and MacKenzie softens a bit. “Please, talk to her? I want them to leave my daughter out of it.” He nods and offers his arm, which MacKenzie gratefully takes. The ride down the elevator is a little more subdued than usual and they ride out to the tree lot without exchanging a lot of words. As they look at the Christmas trees, MacKenzie leans her head against his shoulder and she feels Will relax and slide his arm around her waist. God, they fit. She’s never fit with anyone quite like she does with Will.

They end up picking a big, fat Douglas fir and when they manage to get it in Will’s door, Charlotte squeals with delight. Clarissa stays around long enough to help them get it in the tree stand and then leaves, pressing kisses to MacKenzie and Charlotte’s cheeks and shaking Will’s hand only to come away with a hefty bonus check. MacKenzie already gives her nanny two weeks’ paid vacation for Christmas but it seems that Will wants to give his own gift. She has no qualms with that. Once she’s out the door, they work on decorating the tree.

It’s haphazard at best. Will fusses with the lights for a while before he finally gets them all on and MacKenzie and Charlotte work on putting the ornaments up. Most of them are handmade things Charlotte’s done at school but there are a few really nice ones, things bought from Rockettes shows or Nutcracker ballets. The tree is bottom-heavy, considering Charlotte can’t reach that high and while MacKenzie thinks she ought to redistribute the ornaments, Will shakes his head. Apparently he wants this tree to be as organic as possible.

There’s a beautiful star meant to go at the top of the tree and Charlotte squeals and begs until Will lifts her up and lets her place it at the top. She presses a kiss to his cheek and whispers, barely audible, “I love you, Daddy.” Will seems shocked but covers it with a kiss and MacKenzie isn’t entirely sure what she thinks. Charlotte is aware of Brian, of course, but the last time he came to see her, she’s fairly certain Charlotte was too young to remember it. Will’s probably the closest thing to a father she’s ever had. Still, thinking of him as a father figure and _calling_ him Daddy are two entirely different things. She collects Charlotte and puts her in bed before padding back out to the living room to see Will; it looks like he’s lit a fire and pulled out a bottle of wine.

MacKenzie settles on the couch with him, eschewing wine for a moment in order to sprawl against his chest. She presses her head against his breastbone and listens to his heartbeat for a moment while he plays with her hair and, once again, she’s struck by just how much she cares about him. She hasn’t fallen this hard and fast for a man since Brian and Will is Brian’s polar opposite on every possible metric. “I need to have a conversation with Charlotte about you,” MacKenzie says softly, hoping this doesn’t hurt Will’s feelings. “While I love that she’s comfortable with you, I need her to be aware you’re not her father.”

She regrets it as soon as she says it because Will tenses a little beneath her. “I might as well be, MacKenzie. I love her and I’d do anything for her. I haven’t so much as seen your ex’s handwriting in the whole time we’ve been dating and Charlotte needs a father who is actually a father. I’m aware the two of you are a package deal and I thought I was demonstrating just how much I cared about both of you. I’m sorry she called me Daddy but believe me, I haven’t been coaching her. I’m just as shocked as you are.”

MacKenzie looks up into his face and sees hurt beneath the deep blue of his eyes. God, she hadn’t meant to hurt him with this, only to clarify expectations. “Sometimes I wonder just how aware you are of the fact you’re not her father. You’re close with her, Will. Sometimes it’s a little overwhelming from this end. You need to remember that I’m her mother and you’re just my boyfriend. I’m not ready to parent with you.”

Will’s cheek twitches a little and he shifts to get up; MacKenzie lets him. The last place she wants to be is wrapped in his arms when they’re having this particular conversation. “Duly noted, MacKenzie. Hey, you know what? Let’s just invite Brian to Christmas dinner. I’ll ask Nina too. That way everyone’s aware of their position in whatever convoluted little dance you’ve dreamed up. Mac, Jesus. I care about you. I love you and I love Charlotte. I’m ready to be her father if that’s what Charlotte wants. The only person who’s apprehensive and unsure and dragging their feet is you.”

It’s bitter and angry and not at all what MacKenzie expected. Normally, she’d go home but instead she downs her glass of wine in three gulps and announces she’s going to bed in the guest room with Charlotte instead of sharing Will’s. This is the first real fight that they’ve had and she hates it but the conversation needed to be had. She needed him to know where she stood and now he does.

***

The next morning, Will is out while MacKenzie makes breakfast for she and Charlotte. She guesses if Will gets back any time before lunch, she’ll make him breakfast too but for now she’s content just to spend the time with her daughter. Will comes back in about half past eleven and has a squirming little bundle in his arms. Charlotte squeals and the bundle reveals itself to be a little tortoiseshell cat with an orange stripe down her black nose and patches all over of black and white and orange. She had put her foot down on pets considering her hours and while a cat’s better than a dog, it’s one more thing for MacKenzie and Clarissa to take care of because Charlotte’s too small.

“Thank you, Billy!” Charlotte says, kissing his cheek and peeling off into the living room to play with the kitten beneath the Christmas tree. MacKenzie gives Will a sharp glance and when he asks what’s wrong, she sighs. “Don’t fucking buy presents like that for my child without consulting me,” she says coldly, and startles a little when Will slides a velvet box across the kitchen counter and it skids into her coffee cup. MacKenzie manages to keep the coffee from sloshing everywhere and pops open the box, seeing diamonds and sapphires set in a fine necklace winking up from a bed of black velvet. It’s an extravagant gift, maybe something more than just a girlfriend would receive, and she looks up at Will in shock.

“Will, this is too much,” she says, closing the lid. “I can’t accept it.” Will groans in frustration and runs a hand through his hair, mussing it up. 

“Yeah, well, forgive me for trying to make it up to you that we fought last night. I love you, MacKenzie, and I love Charlotte. I can’t turn off how I feel about you and I’m sorry if it feels like too much. I’m sorry if you’re so fucked up from your ex that you can’t enjoy a good thing when it comes to you but goddamn. Stop making me feel guilty about it.”

MacKenzie chews on her bottom lip and watches him walk away. She can hear his voice, happy and sweet as he indulges Charlotte’s endless questions and plays with her and the kitten and she sighs. Why can’t she just go with it and be happy? She opens the little velvet box and touches the necklace, marveling at how fine it is. It’s Cartier and it had to set him back a ton. She knows Will is wealthy but this is extravagant for just a small fight. 

She keeps herself scarce throughout the day and later, Will takes Charlotte out ice skating along with the 10:00 anchor, Elliot Hirsch, and his three girls. One of them is Charlotte’s age and they apparently get along swimmingly, based on her happy chatter about Hannah when she gets back in. Her cheeks are rosy from the cold and MacKenzie can barely get her out of her coat and dress before she’s fast asleep, worn out from the long day. Will comes to the doorway after she’s gotten Charlotte down and watches for a moment, his face tender and sweet. 

“She had a good time. I enjoyed myself too.” MacKenzie pulls the door mostly shut before following him, catching his hand in hers. “I’m sorry, Will. I’m sorry I’ve been difficult.” He doesn’t say anything in response and says he has some work he wants to do, research for the shows coming up in the new year and MacKenzie leaves him to it. When the sun goes down, though, she dresses in a blue silk robe and the necklace he bought her, leaning in the doorway of his office.

“Come on. You’re working entirely too hard for a holiday, Mr. McAvoy.” She swings the belt of her robe lightly and Will follows her out of his office and back into his bedroom, lips soft against hers. He presses her back into the bed gently and his hands are reverent over her skin, absolutely worshiping her from head to toe. She’s never been with a man quite as generous with his affections as Will and when he cups her breasts in his hands and teases her nipples with his tongue, he’s taking his time and spoiling her in a way she’s not entirely sure she deserves after today. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, only to be shushed by his finger against her lips and his mouth soft and slow against her cunt. Will’s apartment is bigger than her own but habit still makes her muffle her cries against her hand, to try and keep from screaming out when he brings her to an orgasm with his mouth and then, later, with his hand. When he pulls away to shed his clothes, MacKenzie slides out of the robe and when he covers her she rolls them over, sinking down on his cock and riding him hard enough so that her breasts bounce and the diamonds and sapphires sparkle against her bare skin. 

“I’m sorry,” she cries out, over and over again and when he comes, she leans down and crushes her lips against his in a bruising kiss. He’s right, in a way. It seems like no matter how happy she is, she tries to push it away.

She resolves to do better in the future.


	13. Chapter 13

MacKenzie arranges for Charlotte to spend the night with Clarissa and her family on New Years’ Eve because Will has invited her to be his date not only to the ACN party but also to the Mayor’s NYE party at Gracie Mansion. MacKenzie has never been to something quite that extravagant aside from when she was a girl and attended diplomatic functions with her father and she’s a little nervous. More than a little nervous.

She has a gorgeous red Elie Saab gown that’s low in the back and Will whistles a little when she walks out onto the sidewalk to meet him. He looks absolutely gorgeous in his own tux and MacKenzie isn’t entirely sure she’s going to be able to keep her hands off him tonight. Judging by the way he’s looking at her, she thinks that might not be such a bad thing. 

Will seems a little nervous and jumpy so when they do get to Bloomberg’s party, MacKenzie snags glasses of champagne for both of them and presses one into Will’s hand. He drinks it quickly, draining the glass and putting it on a passing tray before offering his hand to her. “So, there’s this gorgeous brunette that I really want to dance with but I’m a complete chickenshit about asking her. How do you think I ought to go about that?”

MacKenzie rolls her eyes and puts her hand in his, squeezing it lightly. “You just ask, Will. Come on, let’s dance before someone else gets the bright idea to scoop you up instead of me.” The song is a little slower now and Will pulls her into the circle of his arms, his knuckles sliding up and down her bare back and sending a shiver down her spine. She has never been more turned on by anyone than Will McAvoy, not even Brian back when it was good. MacKenzie puts her head on his shoulder and just sways to the music, not moving away even when the song ends.

She’s about to ask if they can get out of there when she sees a shock of dark hair across the room and does a double take. Yes. Whether she likes it or not, apparently her ex is standing twenty feet away and seems to have spotted her, making his way across the crowded room to have a conversation MacKenzie assuredly doesn’t want. “Will, we need to go,” she says, tugging at his sleeve.

Will, of course, gives her a dumbfounded look and the time it takes MacKenzie to explain is too much - Brian’s already here. “Hey, Mac. Long time no see. Well, I guess if you count in person meetings. I’ve been seeing you and my kid in the tabloids a lot recently. Permanent fixture, if you ask me. It’s good to see that you still shove her off on the nanny six days out of seven.” MacKenzie has a protest on her lips when Will cuts her off, his own voice clipped and sarcastic. 

“Damn, and here I thought you were just a figment of Mac’s imagination. Funny how you haven’t even sent your kid a goddamned birthday card but suddenly you’re concerned about how much time she spends with her nanny.” MacKenzie digs her nails in Will’s arm in a vain attempt to get him to stop but he presses on instead. “Well, Charlotte thinks of me more as a father than she ever did you so why don’t you just butt out of what decisions we make about her? MacKenzie and I can handle it.”

MacKenzie really wishes Will would just let _her_ handle it but apparently she’s not going to get that. Instead, she gets a scene she really prays will be over sooner rather than later. Brian shakes his head and draws something out of his jacket, a sheaf of white paper. He presses it into MacKenzie’s hands and she’s no attorney but she can recognize this for what it is: a court petition for sole custody of their child. She’s fuming and her eyes are blurred with angry tears, so much so that she cannot make out the actual reasons for this petition. Her attorney will just have to look at it later.

“Are you completely out of your head, Brian? No judge in his right mind is going to grant you custody. You don’t even _want_ Charlotte. You just want to stick it to me!” Will pulls her close and MacKenzie yanks away, wanting to stand on her own two feet for this particular exchange. Will’s chauvinism is not needed here. 

“Yeah, well, everyone can agree that living with a jet-setting mother who’s out with star anchor Will McAvoy every night is probably a less than stable and supportive environment for a five year old. I can give her a life where there’s no paparazzi in her face day in and day out. What can you offer her? Quality time with the nanny?” MacKenzie shoves the petition in her handbag and pulls at Will, demanding to go. Will calls his driver and thank God he’d planned on making an early exit anyway because Lonny is more or less in the neighborhood. They crawl into the back of the SUV and MacKenzie rubs her temples, trying to stave off the headache that is building because of Brian and because of Will’s stupid attempts to make the situation better - which only served to make things worse. 

Will is quiet. MacKenzie is grateful for that at first but when the silence draws out long and she hears him clearing his throat, she looks up only to see the unmistakable glint of a diamond in the dark of the car. She covers her mouth and shakes her head. Of all the things she expected tonight, this is one that wasn’t even on her radar. It explains why Will’s been shifty all night but it’s absolutely, positively not something she wants right now. It’s something she might not ever want, considering Brian is right about one thing: being hounded by paparazzi is no life for Charlotte. MacKenzie hasn’t always been the best parent but she’s trying to be better at it, to spend more time with Charlotte, and Charlotte has blossomed because of it. Right now, the last thing she needs is a marriage to the man who has brought invasive photographers into every aspect of her life and may well be threatening the fragile relationship she does have with her daughter. What if a judge decides she is better off with Brian instead of her? It’s not a risk she’s willing to take.

“No,” she says, shaking her head. “No, no, no, no, no. I can’t, Will, no. I absolutely cannot marry you and I absolutely have to break up with you. Charlotte’s more important than anything else and there’s not...I’m not ready for this. I might not ever be ready for this. Just, no.”

MacKenzie expects an argument but she doesn’t get one. Will looks deeply wounded and he leans forward to give Lonny directions to MacKenzie’s place instead of his own. On the ride there, he doesn’t say anything at all and when MacKenzie pauses to let him open the door for her, it never comes. Instead, she wrenches it open herself and stumbles out into the street, heading back up to her apartment alone for the first time in a very long time. 

_Badly done_ , she thinks to herself. Badly done indeed.


	14. Chapter 14

Will leaves the next day to go on vacation. MacKenzie doesn’t know where he’s headed off to until Charlie calls her and says it’s St. Lucia and that he’ll be back in three weeks. She calls and calls and calls, only to pull up a gossip website and see that he’s down there with Nina Howard, his ex. Of course. Will never returns her calls or emails so she just stops sending them, stops trying to explain why she did what she did.

Attempts to explain to Charlotte why Billy wasn’t coming over or calling when she saw or spoke to him nearly every day hadn’t gone well. MacKenzie had explained that she and Will had decided not to see one another any longer but Charlotte didn’t understand that, apparently, because she demanded to see him anyway. She begged and pleaded for him and, when MacKenzie wouldn’t call him, accused her of making Will abandon them both. It hurt more than MacKenzie could possibly explain; this is exactly why she hadn’t wanted to bring anyone around to meet Charlotte. She hadn’t wanted her to get attached.

Finally, after a day full of spectacular meltdowns near the tail end of Will’s little holiday in the sun, Clarissa pulls MacKenzie aside and whispers in her ear. “He won’t pick up if you call. If I call, he might. The number won’t be one he recognizes.” It’s a little deceptive but she imagines that as long as she doesn’t say anything and Charlotte gets to talk to Will, maybe she can do something with her child that isn’t curling up and crying in defeat. 

Clarissa puts the phone on speaker and dials but looks stricken when a woman’s voice is on the other end of the line and not Will’s. It’s warm and husky and very clearly a little drunk but Clarissa handles the situation with grace, her flowing accent soft around the words as she sternly asks for Will. There’s a shuffle when the phone gets handed over and MacKenzie hears Will’s voice, rough and angry. Obviously she’d intruded on an intimate moment.

“This had better be fucking good.” As soon as he gets the words out, Charlotte ceases her tantrum and speaks in a tear-filled, querulous voice. “Billy? Is that you? Billy, why did you leave? Why are you mad at us?” There’s a long pause and then it seems like Will’s moved out of the room with Nina (since the background noise is significantly quieter) and his voice is softer and kinder. No matter how angry he might be with MacKenzie, it seems that it hasn’t bled over to her daughter.

“Oh, Kid. I didn’t...I’m not mad at you. Who could be mad at you, huh?” Charlotte is still sniffling a little and wipes her face with her sleeve. MacKenzie’s heart is breaking, seeing just how deeply her daughter is affected by what she apparently perceives as Will just not wanting her anymore or being angry with her even if their breakup has nothing to do with Charlotte, not really, and what little does have to do with her is only to protect her.

“Mummy made you go away. She told me.” That’s...actually not what MacKenzie said but she waits to hear what Will’s going to say on the subject. She suspects he won’t throw her under the bus with her own daughter, Will’s got too much integrity for that, but she’s not really sure how he can spin this so Charlotte will be satisfied that MacKenzie didn’t send Will away. It’s all too complicated, especially for someone so young as her daughter. 

“Your mom and I had a fight, yeah, but it didn’t have to do with you. I love you, kid. That’s not going to change just because I’m not hanging out with your mom anymore. Hey, do me a favor?” Charlotte nods vigorously even as she says yes, as if that will help get her point across even more than just speaking into the phone. 

“Don’t be so hard on her. She loves you. Clarissa loves you too, so don’t give her a hard time either. Clarissa can call me any time you want if you want to talk to me. Are you going to be a good girl for Mummy and Cissa?” Charlotte says yes again, then sticks her thumb in her mouth and sucks on it, clearly needing the comfort from the action. She hasn’t done that in a long time. MacKenzie notices her lisp is back in full force too, after having subsided somewhat after a few months in speech therapy.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” God. It breaks her heart. MacKenzie reaches out and smooths down Charlotte’s curls, needing to comfort her somehow even if Will is a thousand miles away and can’t be here; MacKenzie knows exactly who it is that Charlotte wants because she, oddly enough, wants the same person. 

“Charlotte. Baby. I didn’t stop loving you, okay? I’m not home right now, I’m on vacation, but when I come back, if it’s okay with your mom, I can see you. It’s not going to be as much as you’re used to and I’m sorry but things are a little different now, okay? But I’m going to come to all your school things and your dance things and anything else you want me to go to, all right? I promise. I’ll make it happen.”

Charlotte sighs and whispers, “Kay,” into the phone. Will asks for Clarissa and Clarissa clicks the phone off speaker, deciding that while she would let MacKenzie listen in on the conversation with Charlotte, her and Will’s conversation is meant to be private. That doesn’t stop MacKenzie from straining to hear at least Clarissa’s end of it. 

“Mr. McAvoy, you don’t think it’s been hard on Mac to see you down in St. Lucia with that woman? She’s been trying to call you since you left and you won’t even do her the decency of picking up the phone. Charlotte’s been begging for you. I don’t care what happens between you and Mac but if you keep hurting that little girl with your fight, you’re going to deal with me and I am not so nice. You better not be making Charlotte promises you don’t intend to keep.”

MacKenzie’s fairly certain she’s never heard Clarissa be so stern about anyone or anything and it makes her see her as a friend and confidant more than as an employee, which is sort of nice. After fucking up and ruining everything, a friend is one thing she really, truly needs.


	15. Chapter 15

Will senses the champagne is going to get tossed at him before it actually hits his face because that’s just the luck he’s had lately. He’s tried dating again, here and there, but none of the women are MacKenzie. Nina is an on and off thing but Nina has always been his port in a storm. She’s comfortable and familiar but she isn’t someone he can ever see himself with long term. The women he’s been going out with lately are matches from a matchmaking service; he thinks he needs to terminate his contract with them ASAP.

He throws a few bills on the table and leaves, trying to figure out what he did wrong that made MacKenzie want to break up with him. He’d been nothing but the perfect boyfriend - he showered her with gifts, he spent time with Charlotte. There’s nothing he wanted more than to marry her and give her the kind of life that she deserved. It just seems like MacKenzie had no interest in that kind of life with _him_. 

And so he’s dating. 

Things at work are icy but he didn’t really expect anything else. They’d broken up so explosively and he’d immediately jetted off to St. Lucia with Nina to drink and fuck his way out of sorrow instead of trying to call MacKenzie and patch things up. Maybe they could have dialed it back a little and still had a relationship if he hadn’t fucked up so royally afterward but Will refuses to shoulder all the blame in this. It had been MacKenzie who turned down his proposal and broke up with him for no explicable reason, not him. If he’d had his way, she’d be wearing his ring and planning their wedding. He’d have Charlotte.

There’s a very casual arrangement between he and Charlotte’s nanny that Will’s allowed to come see her for a half hour after her dance class every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It’s not as much as he’s used to seeing Charlotte but every day at 4:15 he flies out of the office to go down and meet them at Shake Shack; he has Shake Attack and Charlotte has Concrete Jungle and Clarissa usually just eats fries. It’s a little awkward but he’ll take it and he’s grateful that Clarissa is willing to be a go-between between him and MacKenzie.

“Hi Billy!” Charlotte shouts, breaking away from Clarissa to run into Will’s arms. There’s a photographer nearby and Clarissa insinuates herself between Will and the photographer, standing hip to hip with his bodyguard, Lonny. Clarissa is only about 5’5” but she can be fucking formidable and a glare from her is enough to make the photog slink off in search of better, easier shot prey. 

“Hey, Kid. Are you being good? Doing all your plies and fifth positions and barres and all that?” Charlotte makes a little face, scrunching up her nose in a way that’s so goddamn MacKenzie that it makes him ache. Charlotte is honestly a very tiny copy of her mother, right down to her stubbornness and myriad facial expressions. 

“I don’t like fifth. It’s hard,” she says, shrugging a little. “I’m going to be a mouse in Cinderella! Grown-up Cinderella, too. With real ballerinas.” Will’s not surprised. Charlotte loves to dance and for a six year old, he guesses she’s pretty damn good if she’s getting to dance with an adult company even if it is just to be stage dressing for the adult dancers. He ruffles her hair a little and gets an annoyed look in exchange, even though it melts into a smile a few moments later. God, he loves this kid. 

“Well, if you and Clarissa can tell me when it is, I’ll go. You know I wouldn’t miss your ballet for anything in the world.”

***

Clarissa texts him a few days later to tell him that the Cinderella performance is at Lincoln Center on a Saturday night. He ends up cancelling a social engagement to go and calls a florist because every little ballerina needs flowers and gifts to shower her after her performance and especially Charlotte. He knows that MacKenzie will be there and he hopes that means there will be a chance to talk to her in a setting that isn’t the control room; MacKenzie has basically been ignoring him outside of strictly work-related conversations and it’s been hard to try and mend fences. He wants the chance tonight.

He picks up his tux from the cleaners on the way home and dresses, making sure to look his best. It’s just a ballet (and he doesn’t even like ballet) but it’s Charlotte’s ballet and one of the few chances he’ll get to try and see MacKenzie where she won’t flutter away under the auspices of work. He intends to make the most of it. Charlotte’s part of the ballet is in the beginning so by intermission, she’s back out with Clarissa and Will gets his chance to bring her flowers and shower a little affection on her. 

“You did fantastic, Kid! Best mouse in the history of the universe,” he says, giving her a bouquet of roses and a little silver necklace with a ballet slipper pendant. Charlotte squeals and insists on wearing the necklace right this second so Will’s busy with the clasp when he hears MacKenzie’s low, warm laugh. God. It sends a shiver down his spine and he takes his time with the clasp so he can gather his wits. When he’s just about ready to get up and turn around, he hears another voice: it’s low and masculine and not at all one that he recognizes.

“Babe, is this Charlotte’s father?” he asks, and Will’s blood curdles. Sure, okay, he’s been dating here and there since he and MacKenzie split but it hasn’t been anything serious. He’s cancelling his matchmaking contract and had been planning to make a real attempt at reconciling with MacKenzie. He shifts to stand and brushes invisible lint off his tuxedo jacket for want of something to do with his hands and is blindsided by MacKenzie. 

She’s absolutely stunning in an emerald green dress that hits the floor, modest in the front but dipping dangerously low in the back. Will wants to run his hand over all that creamy pale skin, to kiss her from the nape of her neck to the small of her back and make her knees go weak. Currently, though, the mystery man has his hand rubbing up and down her skin in a not-so-subtle demonstration of ownership. He’s not that tall, only a little taller than MacKenzie herself in heels, and just looks _smarmy_. Will dislikes him on principle.

“Ah, no, this is Will, my anchor. Don’t you recognize him from News Night?” The guy frowns a little and says he watches CNN instead, which pretty much explains everything. Of course. “Will, this is Wade, my friend. I didn’t expect to run into you here.” Will barely refrains from snapping that she knew he’d be here because he loves Charlotte but then realizes that while Clarissa told him about the ballet, she may not have informed MacKenzie. Clarissa, it seems, can be a little crafty when she wants to be. The nanny in question is absolutely stunning in a deep orange gown and her husband looks like he’s the happiest man on the planet. He’s never met the husband before so he makes a point of ignoring MacKenzie’s new boyfriend to extend his hand to the other man. 

“Hey, I’m Will. You’re Clarissa’s husband, right?” He looks a little shell-shocked but after a sharp jab in the ribs from Clarissa, he introduces himself as Alex and says he’s a teacher in Queens. Alex seems like a good guy, at least, and Will plays at small talk for a moment before it’s really, really obvious he’s ignoring the Wade situation. Ugh. He knows he’s being juvenile but he can’t fucking help it, not when this guy is pawing all over MacKenzie in front of everyone.

“I’m a little more than a friend, Mac. She’s so British. I’m an attorney with the DOJ. Financial crimes.” Will arches a brow and slides his hands into his pockets, unwilling to be much more than coolly polite to this guy. While MacKenzie deserves a chance to be happy, Will isn’t really a fan of her choice. Then again, he’d be against any choice other than himself. 

“Yeah? Might better start doing your job again. Things are a little lax.” He kisses Charlotte goodbye and presses a kiss to Clarissa’s cheek, thanking her for getting him the information to come down and see the performance. MacKenzie and Wade get a cool goodbye. As much as he wants to hug MacKenzie and hold her close in that stunning gown, he’s not going to press his advantage in front of her new boyfriend. If that’s what she wants, that’s what she wants. 

Later, in the car, his phone buzzes with a flurry of texts. He pulls up the first one from Clarissa:

> I didn’t know she was bringing him. Alex and I hate the bastard but Mac is her own woman. I’m sorry.

The second, he sees, is from MacKenzie herself. He toys with leaving it unopened for a while and only after he gets back to his apartment and has scotch and a joint in hand does he open it, hurting too much and too curious to leave it unchecked.

> I deserve to be happy. I like him. He doesn’t have streams of photographers following him around. I’m not going to put myself in jail and wait on you to be less of an ass while you’re off fucking Nina Howard. I deserve more.

Maybe she does deserve more but Will isn’t sure Wade can provide it when Will would have pulled down the sun and stars to make her happy. He’d done everything right. He’d been a good boyfriend and MacKenzie threw it into his face. He tosses back his scotch and pads back into the apartment for a legal pad and pen, outlining the next few weeks of his show.

He’s going after the DOJ and their poor prosecution record with a vengeance.


	16. Chapter 16

Will gets the call from the school on a day where MacKenzie is in court regarding her custody hearing and not actually in the office. It seems that through some cosmic confluence of shitty events, Clarissa is currently out of town with her children and MacKenzie had been supposed to pick Charlotte up after school and take her to dance. The school hasn’t been able to contact MacKenzie since her phone is off and she’s not in her office and after calling Charlie Skinner, they’ve been directed to speak to Will McAvoy.

It’s around 4:30. MacKenzie isn’t going to be running the show tonight anyway and he has Jim as a replacement but Will says he’ll be right there and asks Elliot Hirsch to go on for him. It’s good experience and the other anchor is happy to fill in, especially when he realizes it’s a kid-related emergency; Elliot is, of course, an incurably nice guy.

When Will gets to the school, it’s a little closer to five. Charlotte’s in the office with the headmaster’s assistant and there’s dried tears on her cheeks. When she sees him, she lights up and flings herself at him, little fingers digging into the delicate places just behind his knees. If it was anyone else’s kid, he’d be annoyed, but this is MacKenzie’s kid and whether he’s supposed to or not, he kind of thinks of her as his own. 

“You know, it’d be a really good thing if you didn’t mention this to anyone,” Will says, giving the headmaster and his assistant a pointed look. He’s not above paying a bribe, if he has to, but the last thing he wants is MacKenzie’s custody hearing to go badly just because of an accident. Especially when he’d been more than happy to come and fix the problem for everyone. This is not Clarissa or MacKenzie’s fault. 

Will honestly doesn’t know much about the custody hearing. He knows MacKenzie is in court today for it because she asked off but, understandably, she isn’t discussing her personal matters with him. He had recommended a fine attorney who handled those types of cases and MacKenzie had hired her but that was the extent of his involvement in the matter until now. The headmaster nods, his voice nothing but apologies poured over contrition. 

“Of course, Mr. McAvoy. Not a word will be said. We have many celebrity children in our school and it is always our policy to maintain a strict media silence and to preserve the privacy of all our students.” It’s not exactly what Will wants to hear but if it means MacKenzie and her family will be safe, Will is happy to take it. He lifts Charlotte up into his arms and heads back out onto the street, ready to bring her home.

“Come on, I’ll take you back to my place and we’ll order pizza. Does pizza for dinner sound good?” Charlotte lights up and grins, highlighting the little gap where she’s lost her front tooth. When did this happen? MacKenzie hadn’t mentioned it (why should she?) and it hurts to know he’s missing things in the life of this little girl that he feels so strongly about. He’s never really loved someone the way he loves Charlotte. Charlotte fills a hole in his life he wasn’t aware of until she came in it and now that she’s not with him as much as she was when he and MacKenzie dated, the feel of that loss is acute and painful. 

He doesn’t have much around his apartment to entertain a kid but Charlotte has a little homework (they give homework now in kindergarten?) and he flips the tv on to some cartoons for her to watch. There’s an animated movie on, something with plenty of princesses, and Charlotte watches it raptly, only opening her mouth to eat. Will knows that MacKenzie doesn’t let her watch much television but he guesses just this once, it’ll be okay. He’ll happily take the wrist slap when MacKenzie gets here. 

He texts her phone to let her know he has Charlotte and MacKenzie shows up around 6:30, looking a little worse for the wear. Spring in the city is blustery and cold or unbearably hot by turns and from the looks of it, they’re back to the wind whistling through the buildings and biting through jackets. 

“Charlotte? Are you all right?” MacKenzie sounds like she’s desperately trying to tamp down her panic and Charlotte nods quickly, mouth full of pizza. “Fine, Mummy. Billy got me and got pizza and we watched Tangled. Can I have a lizard?” MacKenzie frowns for a moment before bursting out in laughter, pulling her daughter close and holding her a little tighter than it seems Charlotte actually wants; eventually the kid slips away and goes back to her food.

“Will, can we speak for a moment? Privately?” Will nods and escorts MacKenzie out onto his balcony. He wants to smoke anyway and he refuses to do it in his apartment on principle, much less when Charlotte’s around. As far as Charlotte’s concerned, he never smokes. It’s just not something he wants MacKenzie’s kid ever associating with him, especially if she has a negative connotation of it. He pulls out his lighter and cups his hand against the wind, lighting the cigarette and taking a long drag.

“I appreciate you going to get her. I had completely forgotten that Clarissa had asked for today off months ago and I feel like I’m trying to balance too many plates in the air.” It’s a mixed metaphor but that’s what MacKenzie’s known for, mixing things up because she’s so damned good at so many things that she’s pulled in a thousand directions. Will can barely dress himself, honestly, and he doesn’t know if he could ever handle EPing a show and raising a child while simultaneously attempting to have some semblance of a social life. He doesn’t know if MacKenzie still sees Wade but, if she does, she has to find time to work _him_ into her schedule as well. 

“Not a problem. I don’t think the school’s going to talk to anyone. I made it pretty clear I would be pissed about it and they gave me a line about ensuring the privacy of their celebrity students. If they want to assume that Charlotte’s mine and it benefits the two of you, I don’t really mind it.” Honestly, if they want to assume Charlotte is _his_ , period, he doesn’t care because as far as he’s concerned, she might as well be. He loves her. That didn’t stop just because he and MacKenzie broke it off. He also never stopped loving MacKenzie and that’s never been more evident than right now, when she looks tired and worn thin. He wants to wrap her up into his arms and never let go. 

“How’d it go today, Mac?” he asks and she sighs. “I don’t know, Will. I think it’s going to end up being settled in my favor but that doesn’t mean that Brian won’t give me a hell of a fight in the meantime. I told them that...my attorney presented an argument about children of celebrities not being culpable for the actions of photographers and that it sets dangerous precedent to take my child away for this reason. It’s all stupid anyway. It should have been tossed out in summary judgment but Brian has a good attorney too.” 

She looks out over the city, the wind whipping tendrils of her hair around her face and turning her cheeks pink. Will finishes his cigarette and stubs it out in his ash tray before reaching out and rubbing his hand between her shoulderblades, trying to just impart comfort. Something he and MacKenzie have never quite figured out is how to be friends. They’d pushed straight into dating and after they broke up, they never really forged a relationship based on friendship and Will hopes this isn’t too little too late. 

“I never stopped loving you, MacKenzie. I’ll do anything I need to do to make sure that you keep Charlotte. You’re a good mom. You’re not always around, sure, but it takes more than one person to raise a child and anyone who thinks you and Clarissa aren’t doing a good job with Charlotte is an idiot. She’s happy with you. There’s no reason to change that and I can’t imagine a judge is going to side with Brian over you.” He slides his hand up, fingers brushing against the soft skin of her neck and MacKenzie turns. 

They’re very close now, closer than they’ve been in a long while and when MacKenzie reaches up and cups his cheek, he has to close his eyes. This is too much like what he’s wanted for the past few months of being broken up and he doesn’t know if he can handle this tenderness from MacKenzie if it’s not going to lead somewhere. He feels her soft, warm lips against his and any reservations he had about kissing her are gone, lost because there’s nothing he wants more than to be with her even if it hurts him afterward. The kiss is over almost as soon as it begins and when Will looks down at her, MacKenzie’s touching her mouth lightly.

“Wade and I broke it off. I didn’t think it was fair to string him along when all I wanted was you.”

Will doesn’t know how to respond and doesn’t get a chance because MacKenzie’s already heading back inside to collect Charlotte and head home, to try and salvage something of the rest of this day.


	17. Chapter 17

Things are easier over the next several weeks. Will tries to be cautious of MacKenzie and be less likely to lash out at her and she seems to enjoy that and return it in kind. Summer in the city is always his least favorite time of year, if only because the heat is goddamned oppressive and he only dares venture outside willingly when the sun has gone down below the horizon and it’s dark. It’s still muggy but at least his shirt doesn’t stick to his skin within ten minutes of going out on his patio. 

He’s out there tonight with a joint and a beer. While Will is fond of self-medicating, he’s doing fine tonight and this is merely for pleasure and not to smoke away his feelings. He takes another hit off the joint and exhales slowly, simply enjoying the feeling of floating away from the world when he hears his phone ring. It’s his personal line, not his ACN-issued phone and when he sees the name displayed across the screen, he can’t help but smile. It creeps into his voice as well, sliding around the syllables of her name as they rise and fall upon his tongue. 

“MacKenzie. Whatcha doin’ calling so late?” Her voice seems small and far away through the phone and while he knows she’s only a ten minute ride away, she might as well be on the other side of the world. Where he’s relaxed and feeling no pain, MacKenzie’s voice seems agitated and a little upset. He can tell she’s been crying and, worse, he can tell she’s trying to hide it from him. “MacKenzie?” he asks, concerned. “What’s going on, Mac?”

“The judge didn’t grant our motion for continuance. They set the hearing for next week,” MacKenzie says softly. “Clarissa’s been subpoenaed as a hostile witness for Brian’s side of it and...she doesn’t want to testify but they’ll hold her in contempt if she doesn’t and she has a family to think of. I told her she’s simply going to have to answer their questions as best she can and if it incriminates me, so be it. I didn’t know who else to call...I don’t really need advice, or anything, but I just wanted…”

Will’s already halfway inside and searching around for something to wear that doesn’t smell like he just walked out of a frat house. He yanks open a drawer to pull out a clean t-shirt, one that’s faded and soft and a favorite of MacKenzie’s. He figures it will end up on her at some point in the next few days so he might as well bring it along. “I wanted to not be alone for a little while. I know we aren’t together anymore and I know...I know that possibly this isn’t something that’s really in the scope of the employer-employee relationship but I miss you, Will, and there’s nobody else I want with me right now.”

Will laughs softly, an incredulous little chuckle. “Jesus, Mac, you don’t have to sell me on it. You had me at wanted,” he assures her. “I’ll be there soon. I’m guessing I should probably be quiet and not wake up Charlotte?” MacKenzie makes a soft little noise of agreement and Will hangs up, throwing things together so he can take a shower at MacKenzie’s and not have to leave to come home in the morning. He hates feeling like he’s going on a walk of shame after spending a night out. 

When he gets to MacKenzie’s place, he knocks lightly at the door and isn’t surprised when it swings right in; it’s clear she’s been waiting for him. It’s also clear she’s been crying because her eyes are red-rimmed and a little puffy. He drops his bag on the floor and folds her into his arms, amazed once again that she’s so small he can envelop her easily. He forgets that MacKenzie is small sometimes because her personality is so incredibly forceful that he wouldn’t dare cross her unless he had a death wish. He doesn’t have one now. Now, the only thing he cares about is taking care of her. 

He keeps his hand at the small of her back as they walk back to her room and when MacKenzie pushes her door in, a little black and orange streak of fur comes flying past them. “Goddamned cat. I put her out of there ages ago and apparently Charlotte must have let her back in. Now my pillows will be covered in shed fur.” Will laughs a little. It seems his present for Charlotte is a continual nuisance in MacKenzie’s life but he can tell there’s fondness beneath the vitriol in her tone. 

She’s only wearing a tank top and a pair of microscopic running shorts but Will takes his time removing them anyway. While this is technically a booty call since it came well after midnight, he doesn’t think it’s as sordid as all that. MacKenzie needs comfort and reached out to him because in spite of everything, they love one another. Sometimes being with a person doesn’t work out but it’s because you’re not in the right place, not because the feelings aren’t there. Will understands that now a hell of a lot better than he did several months ago when they broke things off. MacKenzie is _it_ for him, now and forever. 

Her hands work at his clothes, pushing them up and tossing them down to the floor and they struggle for a moment on how to best get one another in bed. It’s enough to make MacKenzie laugh, a soft little giggle, and Will laughs too for a moment before covering her mouth in a soft, slow kiss. They’re on their sides, facing one another, and he strokes his hand along the curve of her waist down to her hip and back up again as he kisses her long and deep. Her tongue curls around his and her lips part just so; they’re so in concert that it feels like something merely settles and shifts and this is the way they always were, just slightly knocked off track. He fits with MacKenzie in ways he’s never fit anywhere before. MacKenzie makes him a better version of himself.

He tries to roll her beneath him but MacKenzie resists, pushing him to his back instead and straddling him. Will looks up at her and wonders if the sappy look on her face is her own creation or if it’s merely a reflection of what’s clearly on _his_ face right now. He’s never been happier than when he’s with MacKenzie and half-high and half-drunk, he’s not really in a position to hide those feelings to protect his heart. Not with her. MacKenzie rocks against him, rubbing her cunt along his cock and Will groans and closes his eyes. _Fuck_. 

He slides his hands up to cup her breasts, thumbs brushing over her nipples. It’s MacKenzie’s turn to groan now and she does, choking it off by biting her lower lip. When she relaxes her mouth, he can see that it’s swollen a bit from both his kisses and her teeth. She’s beautiful. He’s never been with anyone who does it for him quite like MacKenzie McHale. 

Will cups her hips and eases her down onto his cock, enjoying every delicious inch of her sinking down on him and pulling away again. Once she has a steady rhythm going, he spreads her with a thumb and rolls the other against her clit, rocking his own hips up in concert with applying more pressure. MacKenzie moves faster now, fast enough to make her breasts bounce and her face flush with both arousal and exertion and Will pushes her harder. She gasps and he feels her coming around his cock, tight and hot and perfect and before she’s done he rolls her beneath him and drives into her harder. There’s no place to be gentle anymore, not when it’s been so fucking long and he muffles her whimpers and moans with his own mouth. His lips and tongue and teeth go into the kiss too, desperate just like the rest of him and when he finally comes, he cries out her name before collapsing against her. 

Will shifts after a moment or two so he is only half draped against her, his head pillowed on her breast. MacKenzie’s slim fingers card through his sweat-soaked hair, petting and soothing him as they come down. He’s always loved how she is so easy with her affection and he’s greedy for it in turn. Nobody has touched him the way MacKenzie touches him. Nobody has ever been so generous with their feelings. 

Until her. Nobody until her.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who helped me with this but especially Callie and Rachel, who were cheerleaders and sounding boards for every ridiculous idea. This is for you.

In the end, there is a trial. It’s a short one and there’s no jury, only a judge but things go relatively well. In spite of being called as a witness for the plaintiff, Clarissa’s testimony does nothing but highlight how good a mother that MacKenzie is and helps to show that they’re a team - Clarissa, MacKenzie and even occasionally Will. MacKenzie is grateful to have such a clever and articulate woman as both friend and employee and they hug one another afterward, knowing that Charlotte will not be ripped from them. 

In the weeks that follow, MacKenzie tentatively slips back into a relationship with Will. There had been a lot of hurtful things said and done on both sides and while they love one another deeply, only time and understanding can heal those wounds. She needs him to know her expectations for interaction with Charlotte, who the parent is and who isn’t, and Will seems to accept this with an open heart and mind. She loves that he wants to be involved. She loves that Will is fully prepared to _be_ a father to Charlotte but that he also understands that Brian is her actual father and retains some rights in that regard. Brian was granted visitation by the courts but he never actually turns up for it; after the third failed meeting, MacKenzie simply tells Charlotte that they’re going to make it on their own instead. 

Will seems to be careful about not overstepping his boundaries and while MacKenzie is grateful that he’s letting her call the shots, she worries about it. One night in bed, she sprawls out against his chest and looks him directly in the eye, demanding an answer. 

“I’m not made of glass, you know. Neither is Charlotte. I know damned well you’re squashing down your multitude of opinions and I need you to stop it. I want you to be _Will_ , not some overly-polite goober.” Will shifts her so she’s straddling him and gives her a quizzical look, eyebrows drawing together slightly. 

“I was just trying to...you know. Let you and Clarissa do the parenting and be Mummy’s boyfriend for a little while. You’re sending mixed signals there, Mac.” MacKenzie sighs and brushes an errant lock of hair off his forehead. Will has the uncanny ability to look like a scolded boy whenever he hears something even mildly critical - it happens at work quite a bit and they’re able to push through it but MacKenzie doesn’t seem to have the skills as to how to tackle it in the personal realm. She supposes she’ll have to start learning how because she’s with Will for life, side by side, and she doesn’t want to fail him in something so important. 

“I know. I’ve just been thinking that now we’ve resolved everything with Brian and Charlotte’s old enough to understand the concept of stepfather and actual father and everything that maybe if you wanted to start helping me co-parent a bit, I would not be opposed to it.” MacKenzie takes his hand, lacing her fingers through his. “I would not be opposed to your help in parenting her a single bit. Charlotte loves and respects you and I love the fact that I don’t have to do this alone. If I’m tired, I don’t have to drag Clarissa from her own family to watch Charlotte, I can rely upon you and let you help me. I’ve been doing everything alone for the past six years and maybe it’s just time for me to let go a little bit and let you help me. Let you be my partner.”

Will reaches a hand up and mirrors her earlier movement, stroking through her hair and tucking it back behind her ear. It falls forward again, glossy and shiny, and MacKenzie sighs. She’s never been one to really handle much in the way of grooming, not even something so simple as that. MacKenzie has never done anything the _easy_ way or even necessarily the right way; if there’s a way to go uphill both ways in the snow to get what she wants, that’s how MacKenzie has always done it. She’s always been the sort of person to fight for what she believes in and now it’s shifted from a professional fight about ideological things to a more personal one about what she wants in a family and a partner. The one good thing about it is that she has Will now and Will, too, likes to do things the hard way.

“I want to be your partner,” Will murmurs. “I want to be here for everything for you and Charlotte. I want to show her that a father is something she can have and that she can rely on me not to drop in and out whenever I feel like it. I’m not the kind of guy who is going to turn my back on either of you, MacKenzie, and you don’t have to worry about trusting yourselves with me. I love you both. I love the two of you more than I could ever possibly say and there’s nothing you can say or do that’s going to change my mind about that. Nothing. There’s nobody who could ever replace you two for me.” 

MacKenzie presses her lips together and while this isn’t a conversation she intended to have right this moment, Will has provided her the perfect segue. This is her moment to finally reach for the brass ring and do something for herself and Charlotte that she never expected to happen again. She takes in a deep breath and looks at him, leaning forward a bit and speaking low and soft. It’s intimate in every sense of the word. 

“I want...I don’t know if this is something you’re even interested in anymore since I botched it so terribly but I want...you know how sometimes you want something so much that when you have it, you don’t know how to handle it? You react all wrong and you end up insulting the person who gave you the gift? I just want...wait, no. I’m not saying this right.” MacKenzie takes in another deep breath and tries to steady her nerves. This is important and she’s fucking it all up by being such an imbecile with words. 

“All right. I’m starting over. I love you,” MacKenzie says bluntly. That, at least, is something she can get out without mangling it beyond recognition and the smooth slide of Will’s hands along her arms steadies her in a way little else has or ever will. She takes a little comfort and solace in that intimate gesture before she presses on, trying to get something intelligible to push through the jumbled up phrases rattling around her brain. It’s...more or less successful. Will tries to say something and she lays a finger against his lips; she has to get this out in one go or she’s never going to do it.

“I love you and I know that you proposed back in January and that I handled it horribly. I hurt you deeply by throwing away your feelings and something so beautiful and while it was the _absolute wrong time_ and I’m sticking by that, I also handled it in the worst possible way. I took something kind and I twisted it because I was frightened and I panicked. I don’t ever want to do that again, Will. I don’t ever want to hurt you again. And if you’ll just give me another chance to be your wife, I’m never, ever going to hurt you again. If I do, I want you to tell me so I can fix it and we can work through it together and I can promise you, absolutely one hundred percent promise you, I am never going to run again. I’m going to stay right here and I’m going to work it out. I’m going to work it out with you. Will you marry me?” 

MacKenzie’s face feels hot and splotchy and she hopes her proposal wasn’t to terrible. She’s not so old-fashioned as to think it’s never appropriate for a woman to propose but she also never thought she’d end up doing it in her own personal life. It feels right. It feels like it’s the right time for her and Will to take this step, especially since the mess with Brian is cleared away and it feels like eternity as she waits for his answer. Will’s face cracks into a brilliant, beautiful smile. 

“Yes. I said...I was going to say yes but you shushed me,” he says, laughing a little; the movement vibrates beneath her body and she feels wrapped up in it and wrapped up in Will. God. She’s so relieved. Mostly everything in her life has happened by accident and this feels like the one thing she had an active hand in, something she’s built and created along with Will instead of something she’s just reacted to and gone along with. This is _hers_ and she plans to own it. 

Sometimes it’s not about the family you’re born with, it’s about the family you _make_.


End file.
